


Bitter Sweetheart

by Fearful_Rabbit



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Development, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Deserves Happiness, Depression, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Emotional Hurt, F/M, Female Reader, Female pronouns, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hank: Become Father, Hate to Love, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Named-Reader, POV Female Character, POV Multiple, POV Second Person, Past Abuse, Poor Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Protective Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Rating May Change, Reader is a Named OC, Reader-Insert, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Suicide Attempt, Tsundere Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22146565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fearful_Rabbit/pseuds/Fearful_Rabbit
Summary: It's been a year since the success of the Android revolution, Connor is still a detective with the DPD, and he's still Hanks partner, by choice this time.You hate everyone, you hate Androids— at least, you think you do. Do you really hate Androids? A failed suicide attempt and a very persistent detective Android makes you question everything you thought you knew about yourself.
Relationships: Connor (Detroit: Become Human)/Original Female Character(s), Connor (Detroit: Become Human)/Reader, Hank Anderson & Connor
Comments: 42
Kudos: 139





	1. A Regular Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is unapologetically a self-indulgent reader insert fic, but a super slow burn. I want to really develop the relationships in this story.  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> !! Currently working on editing and rewriting this story before I release any new chapters, I've improved in my writing skill quite a bit since I started uploading this fic and I would like for it to reflect the change, thank you for reading <3 !!
> 
> Edit: 20th Jan 2020: Updated some dialogue, fixed some grammatical errors.  
> Edit: 15th April 2020: More grammatical fixes :)

Connor sat across from Hank at his desk, focused on the terminal in front of him, his eyebrows were knitted together in concentration. Human on Android crimes were becoming far too common, it seemed every day a new assault against an Android was being reported.

He flicked through the reports, stabbings, gun violence, hit and runs, theft, the list went on and on. There were also reports of Android on human crime, but it was far less than the other way around.

Hank looked at the Android, he scratched the scraggly hairs in his beard which made an abrasive sound against his fingers. The reports he’d been working on were really starting to grate on him, Hank groaned at the list displayed on the screen in front of him and leaned back against his chair.

“I wish Fowler would give us something to do, filling out this shit all day is making me go nutty,” Hank sighed and sat his hands back on his keyboard, the sound of mundane typing and occasional clicks filled the air. 

Connor glanced up at Hank briefly, his attentiveness for the task at hand not wavering, Hank's boredom wouldn’t deter him. He narrowed his eyes together as he skimmed over the latest report to come through his terminal.

‘Male AP700 Android “Lukas” found non-functioning behind a dumpster, the victim's face was perforated with a 12-inch knife between the eyes, damaging biocomponents in his head. The victim's thirium pump was found a few meters away from the Android and appeared to be destroyed by a shoe. Nearby CCTV cameras captured the perpetrators running away and they were identified. 17-year old Robert Brown and 16-year old Micheal Roberts were captured easily and detained. Closed case’

Connor looked down at his own hands briefly before closing the report, he knew he shouldn’t get attached to cases, but something about this one really got to him in a way that unsettled him. It wasn’t super out of the ordinary, and it was already solved. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder which caused him to flinch slightly, he had been so deep in thought he didn’t even notice that Hank was standing behind him now.

"You know Son, it may seem like Androids are being targeted more than before, but you need to look at the bigger picture," Connor swiveled his chair around with perfect precision to face Hank, a look of hesitance coated Connor’s features.

"I'm not sure I understand, Lieutenant," he said

"Well think about it! It wasn't a crime to assault an Android before the revolution, so it never got reported as a crime. Now that you guys have rights and all, it gets reported."

Connor squinted his eyes slightly at Hank, who sighed and continued, "So the crimes getting reported aren't an indication of increased crime rates, it's just everything that already existed coming to the surface," he said.

He was right, but Connor was still feeling uneasy. A lot of the attacks happening against Androids were committed by humans who were upset and angry about Androids being accepted as intelligent beings, capable of feeling emotion, his LED flashed yellow and he pressed his mouth together in a frown.

Hank sighed again whilst giving Connor a hard pat on the shoulder before making his way back over to his desk, he grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and hastily shoved his arms in the sleeves. "Well I think it's time for a break anyhow, we've both been working for hours; I'm starved," Hank said with a quick head motion, gesturing for Connor to follow him.

Hank walked towards the front glass door, Connor following closely behind. As they walked through the doors and past the front desk, Connor nodded to the reception workers as a female ST300 Android waved him and Hank off, Hank gave a small nod of his own. 

Even though Androids were free to do whatever they pleased, and apply for whatever job they pleased, many Androids had decided to stay in the same job they were holding before the revolution, as long as their employers were willing to pay them. 

A lot of humans thought it was quite odd, they were free now! Why would they want to stay in the same job they were forced into? It made perfect sense to Connor though, those jobs are what they were programmed to do, they were very good at it, and many Androids enjoyed the positions, he was in the same boat after all. 

Of course, he was going to stay in the force as a detective. He acknowledged that he was forced into it at first, but now that he had the choice to leave, the thought seemed ridiculous to him, solving cases and helping people and Androids made him happy, it was his purpose for existing, simple as that.

The two men exited the building and rounded the corner to where Hank’s car was parked in the staff car-park. 

After getting in the vehicle and buckling their seat-belts, Hank fiddled with his phone for a moment before music started blaring from the speakers, causing the interior of the car to shake softly as the speakers thudded against it.

A quick scan revealed the song was 'Mouth of War' by Pantera, released in 1992.

"I like this music," Connor mused, bobbing his head slightly.

Hank gave him a slight side glance and turned the music down a bit as he started his car. "You like it huh?" he questioned as he pulled out of the car park.

Connor thought for a moment, and then said, "Well I don't think I can enjoy it in the same way that you do. But I do appreciate the energy, it's so bold!"

Hank huffed and smiled, "I'm having some Deja Vu here Connor,"

"Now that you mention it, we have had this conversation before haven't we?" Connor smiled and looked out the front window towards the road.

"Yeah, but I specifically remember you saying you'd  _ like _ to listen to music, I get the feeling that's changed now?"

"Correct!" Connor answered him and shot him a wide-toothed grin before continuing, "I like ‘The Smiths’, I play them as ambiance whilst I do chores and housework, I find its effects to be quite calming."

"I thought you liked the energy?"

"Calm is a different type of energy that I enjoy,"

"Right right, well fair enough then. Not my cup of tea, but I can see you liking a band like that,"

"Like what?"

"Like The Smiths, obviously."

"Oh, right."

The two sat in amicable silence for a few minutes listening to Hanks music before they pulled up at the chicken feed.

"Lieutenant, I know you don't appreciate my input on this matter, but the nutritional value-" Connor was cut off by Hank putting a hand up to his face, "Can it Connor. I like the food here." Connor sighed and shook his head, strolling over to a table while he waited for Hank to order.

Connor scanned the area and appreciated the scenery, a thick layer of snow coated the ground and the air was filled with a wispy mist, tiny snow particles fell and became one with the ice down below. 

Connor raised his hand to catch falling snowflakes, scanning them before they melted against his skin, it was so fascinating to him that no two snowflakes were alike, each one different in appearance. It was almost sad to watch them melt against the artificial skin on his hand, he frowned.

Hank waved to the man serving food before he walked over to where Connor was standing. Connor was completely zoned out and in his own head watching the snow, he almost didn't notice Hank beside him when he started eating a burger and slurping his soda through the straw.

"Hello Lieutenant, same order as always?" Connor asked.

"What can I say, I know what I like," Hank replied in between bites.

Connor hummed in amusement before turning to look at Hank, "Have you tried any of the other meals here?" he asked.

"Yeah I've had one of their other burgers, didn't fancy it much," Hank lowered his burger as he spoke, "Why?"

"Well I was just thinking. If I could taste, I think I'd want to try as many different foods as possible, there are so many different tastes, so many different kinds of food, I don't think I could be content eating the same thing every day," Connor stated.

Hank gave him a dry smile and shook his head, "I've been alive for a long time, I've tried plenty of different foods, as I said, I know what I like, kid." He picked his burger back up and finished the remainder of it.

"And that too, you eat so quickly, wouldn't it be better to enjoy the taste?" Connor asked, rather innocently.

"Look, kid, I don't know what you're getting at, but you're starting to get on my nerves, I don't need you criticizing the way I eat, alright?''

Connor frowned at him. "Let's go somewhere else tomorrow!" he suggested, which made Hank scoff in response.

Although his requests weren’t always obliged by Hank, Connor liked the fact that he could make them.

Hank turned around and started walking away, twisting his head over his shoulder as if to say ‘Let's get back to work.’ So back into the car they both went, back to the station.

The rest of the day was uneventful, Connor and Hank filed paperwork and filled out documents. They went through reports, none of which seemed like they needed their help, as they were open and closed cases. 

Especially the human on Android attacks. As it turns out, humans were much less efficient at committing crimes and getting away with it than Androids, not that it surprised anyone.

Connor finished his work-day at 9:03 PM, Hank was still working on something and said he'd head home soon but that Connor shouldn't wait up, so that's what he did.

Connor drove a blue Tesla model 8 X, efficient enough and better for the environment than all past models and with self-driving capabilities, not that he used the latter feature. His drive home was quick, without all the morning and midday traffic his commute home only took him 12 minutes and 49 seconds on average, this particular drive took 12 minutes and 27 seconds. 

He pulled into the gutter on the side of the road, he preferred to park there because Hank used the driveway in front of the house for his own car. 

Connor started staying with Hank shortly after the success of the revolution, it was a time where the government was still in the process of legalizing rights for Androids, he wasn’t able to buy a house of his own then.

He had originally planned to move out of Hank’s home as soon as possible as to not be a burden to him or annoy him in any way, but he soon discovered that they both enjoyed each other's presence. Although Hank would never admit it. 

He had suggested a few times to Hank that he should move out into his own place, but Hank would get defensive and start joking about how Connor didn’t want him around, in his own way he was telling Connor to stay. 

Connor turned his car off and stepped out onto the pavement, he found himself excited for what was going to happen next, it was his favorite event of the day; greeting Sumo after a hard day's work. 

Opening the door with his own set of keys, he was happy to see Sumo waiting for him at the door.    
“Hello, Sumo!” he said as he knelt down to give the St. Benard a soft pat on the head and a scratch behind the ears. 

Obviously, Sumo couldn’t talk, but his panting was a clear indicator for his enjoyment of being petted. 

Connor smiled genuinely at the dog before he rose back to his feet and hung his set of keys on a hook next to the door. Hank never used it, so it soon became Connor’s key hook. 

The house was in pristine condition, although the place was never what Connor would consider “messy” by human standards, for an Android with an intricate eye for detail, it was definitely messy. 

Hank didn’t mind the fact that Connor tidied up the house, as long as he didn’t move anything he didn’t want moved and promised to not hold Hank to his ridiculously high standard. 

Connor only really tidied up the house when he was pondering something and trying to keep his hands busy though, so the slight restriction didn’t bother him at all. 

He also saw it as a nice gesture he could do for Hank, Hank had, for the most part, refused any form of rent Connor had tried to offer. The only form of rent he accepted was less than a hundred dollars a week, but Connor could never understand why, no matter how much he tried to understand. 

He figured it was just another one of those emotional human things, he’d read a lot online about what it meant when a person refused to accept money from another, even if it was a totally justified reason to be accepting money. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t humbled by the gesture. 

Connor had a bedroom of his own set up in the last room at the end of the hall, Cole’s old room. He was very reluctant to move into that room, he was acutely aware of Hank’s past and the sentimental value he had placed on his late son’s room. 

But Hank had insisted. 

He’d said he wanted Connor to have his own personal space, not so much out of concern, though. 

“I need you to have a place to go when I need you to get out of my hair and stop fuckin’ annoying me,” he’d said. 

Connor wasn’t sure he believed that to be the only reason, but he knew not to push Hank unnecessarily. 

After petting Sumo once again, he retreated into his bedroom and prepared himself for rest mode. It wasn’t something he needed to do every single night, and he didn’t, for the most part. 

But if he knew he didn’t have anything he needed to be working on, he much preferred to let himself “sleep” for the night, at least for a few hours. 

He did need to rest sometimes though, software updates from Cyberlife’s main server were extremely important, if he let himself go on without updating for long enough he could experience unpleasant glitches or general slowness in his software. 

That wasn’t the only reason he liked to go into rest mode most nights, though.   
  
Since deviating, his grasp on human emotion was becoming tighter and his experiences with his own emotion had become more and more intense. This included boredom. 

Staying up at all hours of the night with nothing to do left him feeling incredibly irritated. 

Settling in for the night, he lay on top of his neatly made bed and allowed himself to drift off into unconsciousness, his LED faded into gray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 18th of April 2020 edit: A complete rewrite of the latter half of this chapter! I really disliked how it was written and didn't like how a particular story beat/plot point/world building point had been set up. So I completely changed it! Generally I try not to completely change story beats when editing already published chapters, but this one was a very needed exception.


	2. 10-56A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a regular visit to a nice Cafe 😉

Connor arrived at the station at 7:55 AM, five minutes early. 

Even though he and Hank shared a house, they would only occasionally commute to work together. It was risky to take the same car to work because if one of them got called out to do something separately from the other it would cause problems. 

He made his way to the break room where he found the newspaper for that day, he pulled out a chair and took a seat at the rounded table, swiping through the pages to see if there was anything interesting going on in the world today.

**'Hundreds of businesses closing down due to the inability to pay workers after the Android revolution'**

**'Detroit nightclub promoters caught up in Bali red ice sting are sentenced to jail in Indonesia's toughest prison'**

**'Debate about the ethics of continued production of Androids continues as Android couples claim they want children'**

Connor tapped the screen on the digital paper, opening the Android production article.

**‘Android overpopulation crisis?**

Androids are able to far outlive their human counterparts, technically an Android could live on forever if he were to keep updating damaged and worn down parts. Humans are arguably already suffering through the consequences of overpopulation.

Another possible harm is that the world will become overcrowded. Many people, including philosophers Noah Grey and Dakari Bell, are concerned that producing more immortal Android life would cause severe overpopulation, pollution and resource shortages, all of which are already huge issues today. There has been discussion about programming life expectancies into future Androids (if they are produced) which spikes a whole new debate about the ethicacy of Androids living eternal lives.’

Connor furrowed his brows together and mulled over the short article, he leaned back on his chair and placed the paper back on the table. Androids being immortal? He’s never really stopped to think about it before, Androids were still able to die, but his current life expectancy was well beyond any of his human friends. The thought of seeing them all die while he got to keep on living made him sad. But Androids wanting children? This was the first time he’d heard of it, it did make sense. Androids were able to feel many of the same emotions that humans did.

Blinking back into reality after straightening his tie, Connor saw that it was 7:59 AM already, so he made a mental note of the topic and promised himself he'd look into it after he finished his shift for the day. 

Hank was scheduled to start at 8:00 AM today, and as of recent he'd been doing very well at arriving for his shifts on time and leaving after all his work was finished, Connor was very proud of him. 

He could tell how far he'd come since the two had first met, but he knew bringing the topic up only flustered the man, so he was content to be proud from afar. Connor turned on the espresso coffee machine and tapped in the setting for a double shot Cappuccino, he turned his back to lean on the bench that the espresso machine was on, he crossed his arms and hummed softly as he waited for the machine to do its job. 

Just as the coffee was finished and a lid was squeezed onto the paper cup, Gavin Reed walked into the room and scoffed lightly under his breath when he saw Connor.

"Hey Tincan, since when can you drink coffee?" he asked. 

Connor picked up the coffee cup swiftly and paid Gavin's little nickname for him no mind and responded civilly, "It's for Lieutenant Anderson."

Gavin tsk'd at him and ran a hand through his hair, "Still doing service work for that old man? I guess you're still an Android at heart, can't help doing as others order huh," Gavin had a slight grin forming on the side of his mouth as he leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms.

Connor was taken aback for a split second, but he quickly composed himself, "The Lieutenant didn't ask me to do this, actually. I'm doing it because we're friends and I wanted to do something nice,"

Even though Gavin didn't seem moved at all by his statement, Connor was happy enough that he'd defended his actions and Hank, so he left the room and walked straight past Gavin, not bothering to give him a second glance.

At 8:04 AM Hank arrived, once he made it to his desk he was greeted by a smiling Android with a coffee held out in hand, Hank accepted the offering gratefully and said "Thank you," before sitting at his desk and stretching his arms up. 

Connor sat at his desk, ready to look through reports or more preferably, to go out and do some investigative work at a moment’s notice, but before he could open the files on his terminal Hank suddenly spoke up after taking a sip of his coffee.

"I really appreciate a fresh coffee in the morning, but I hope you don't feel like you have to make me one," He was looking at Connor from his chair, the coffee now pressed against his lips as he drank it.

"I made you a coffee because I wanted to, besides, can you really call it making a coffee if the machine does all the work?" Connor responded playfully.

"Well alright kid, thanks, ‘appreciate it," Hank smirked at him.

"Although I have to ask, why would you think I feel like I have to make you one, Lieutenant?" Connor asked.

Hank tutted before responding, "Well you know. The whole Android thing- not that I think you would think you have to do anything now, I was just making sure, Connor."

Connor smiled at him and looked back towards his terminal, hoping they'd get called into a scene today, paperwork was a bit too boring for his taste.

At 12:30 PM, Hank and Connor went on a break after filing paperwork and looking through reports for a few hours, and to Connor’s surprise they weren't headed towards the Chicken feed for once.

"If I may ask, where are we going for our break today?" he asked Hank, who rolled his eyes and said "Didn't you say you wanted to go somewhere different today? I thought I'd humor the idea,"

Connor grinned, "Oh good! But you still haven't answered my question,"

"We're going to a cafe down the road."

"Oh, good. I like cafes,"

Hank pulled into a rather small car park for a place called 'Rose Cafe'. The area was quite lovely, the cafe was a small lavender colored building with rose bushes hanging off the side of every window of the venue. 

The roof was painted dark red and there were outside tables and chairs that were inaccessible from the outside, as a large glass wall surrounded the area. The only way in was through a door connected to the cafe, probably to stop non-customers and loiterers from hanging out at the tables, Connor deducted.

Surrounding the cafe were small restaurants and some vintage looking apartment buildings across the road.

"I like this place," Connor said. "It feels… quaint."

"Yeah I guess you're right, it does feel… quaint. I've never been here before, but I've heard good things, hopefully I don't regret coming here over the usual place," Hank said as he unbuckled his seat belt and exited the car.

The two walked into the side entrance that was connected to the car park, and almost immediately Connor was mesmerized. 

There was an open fireplace softly crackling in the corner, with some armchairs set up a decent space away, one person was sitting in a chair, clearly enveloped in whatever book he was reading.

The walls were lined with wooden shelves with books neatly displayed along the top of them. The walls were dark brown wood and the floor was a slightly lighter color than the walls. 

A few tables and chairs were set up inside the cafe, each one adorned with a rose inside a mason jar, the ordering desk to their right had a young lady with brilliant curly velvet locks lining her face and large circular glasses resting on her nose. 

The uniform she wore was a classic striped cafe dress, pink and white, with a pastel pink bow sitting on her back. As they made their way to the desk, the woman smiled and waved at the pair. "Hello! Welcome to Rose's, what I can I get for you?'' Her greeting was very chipper.

Hank returned her greeting and after looking at the menu for a few moments, he asked for a breakfast sandwich and an orange juice.

"Not a problem sir! Will you be eating in or taking out?" she asked.

"I'll be eating in, thanks," Hank smiled at her as she quickly pressed some buttons on the register.

"Alrighty sweetheart, that'll be 14.50!"

Connor could sense that Hank was not happy with the price, but he didn't show any disdain and paid for his meal as the lady handed him a table number.

"Sit wherever you like and I'll bring your meal out. Have a rosy day!" she sang and waved them off. Hank opted to sit outside.

"She was nice," Connor observed.

"Mmm, she was nice wasn't she?" Hank agreed.

"I like this place," Conner stated.

"I'll decide once the food comes out," Hank retorted.

"But don't you like the design?" Connor asked. Hank raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you didn't "get" decorating," he said flatly.

"I like the feeling this place evokes," Connor smiled as the door opened and the lady from before walked through with a plate and drink in hand.

"Here you are sir! If you need anything please don't hesitate to come ask, okay? Enjoy!" she said in that sing-song tone she'd used earlier. Connor glanced at her name tag and said "Thank you Marnie. You've been quite pleasant," she smiled in response and waved as she walked back inside.

Hank's meal was already off to a much better start than anything he could've possibly ordered at the chicken feed, the sandwich had tomatoes, lettuce, onion, an egg cooked sunny side up, some slices of bacon and a good amount of mayonnaise, stacked within some freshly cooked and lightly toasted white bread.

Okay, the bacon wasn't very healthy, but this meal was miles above yesterday's lunch.

Hank took a bite, and before he could take another, the two were startled by a high pitched scream. Hank dropped his sandwich back onto the plate as he flinched and looked over the road to see where the noise was coming from. Connor was already looking.

Across the road, in one of the vintage looking buildings, there you were, standing on a window ledge outside of an apartment, clinging to the wall, a good 8 stories in the air. You looked distressed, glancing down at the ground, you took heavy breaths.

An older lady a few windows down from you had stuck her head out the window and was desperately screaming, phone in hand, frantically urging you to get off the ledge.

Connors LED spun red, a suicidal person? There was little time, one wrong move and it'd be over, your body would fall ungraciously into the pavement and become lifeless. 

He turned to Hank "Hank we-" but before he could continue Hank cut him off and stood up quickly, clearly on the same page. "You're a negotiator, right? What are you waiting for!?" 

Connor nodded and jumped the glass fence without a second thought, running quickly to the building where a small crowd of concerned civilians had already formed.

Hank ran into the cafe, "Woah, woah please don't run in the store!" Marnie said frantically, waving at him. 

"Someone's gonna jump over there!" Hank spat as he ran out the back door and into the car park, he unlocked his car in a rush and grabbed his police radio, "This is Lieutenant Hank Anderson, Code 20, 10-56A" he said clearly and rattled off his location into the mic, explaining the situation in more detail after an ambulance and backup were confirmed to be on the way.

Connor pushed past the crowd and threw the front door open, headed straight for the lobby. The receptionist was already on the phone, she looked worried and frantic. Connor knew he didn't have time for shocked civilians, so he flashed his badge and asked for a key to the room and the specifics of that room, she complied with little delay and handed him what seemed to be a master key.

Floor 8, room number 7. After arriving at the elevator, a quick scan of the area told him that he'd be slightly quicker if he took the stairs, so off he went, scaling the stairs with great haste, feet banging against the metal steps. Time was of the essence.

Room number 7 was in front of him now, he slotted the key he was given into the lock, opening it with ease.

This was the trickiest part. Getting within talking distance of you without freaking you out and possibly causing you to jump. Connor absorbed the area, making sure to get as much information as fast as possible.

Time was of the essence.

Connor quickly scanned the room, it seemed to be a decent-sized studio apartment. The kitchen was to the right, it looked cluttered but not overly messy other than the sink which was filled to the brim with dirty dishes, and the bin next to the fridge which clearly needed to be changed. 

To his left was the living room, a tiny television was propped up on a small table and there was clutter and mess covering the carpeted floor and couch. The mess in the living room looked to be one that was made in a frenzy, not once that had built up over time.

"Hello there!" he spoke loudly from the middle of the room, he knew you hadn't noticed him until this point. 

Connor had debated sneaking up on you and grabbing you, but the chances of that succeeding were only 40% as you were quite far away from the window, too risky. He also realized he couldn't do anything that would risk his own safety, Cyberlife no longer guaranteed his return after death, if he fell, it could be the end for him and you.

"My name is Connor! What's yours?" Connor slowly crept towards the window, where he stuck his hand out in a non-threatening gesture, he then poked his head out so he could see you, and so you could see him.

You were pushed against the outside brick wall, feet planted on a ledge which seemed to barely have enough room for them. Your eyes were red and puffy, cheeks were red, lip was quivering, you were wearing a long-sleeved striped sweater with a knee-length black skirt underneath, it was pulling against you as the wind took hold.

"What is your name?" Connor repeated the question.

//Probability of success 50%

Build trust, he thought. I need to gain your trust.

You looked away and took a sideways step further away from him, causing the crowd below to gasp, the tension was thick enough to cut from here to the ground.

"Please don't do anything rash!" Connor pleaded, raising both of his hands. "I'm here to listen to you. I know there must be something terrible going on for you to consider this option,"

You looked back to him and released one hand from the wall you were holding, wiping your face with it. "Please just don't look. It'll make this more difficult than this needs to be," you seemed calm.

//Probability of success 37%

"What's difficult? Please explain it to me, I'm here to listen," Connor was pleading again, it seemed that you weren't even willing to listen at all.

//Probability of success 30%

You looked away again and chewed at the nail on your thumb.

"You could never understand… please just leave me alone."

Connor thought for a moment, you seemed to have accepted your supposed fate. But if that was the case, why were you hesitating?

"You're an Android?" You questioned him, seeing his LED spin yellow.

Connor looked you in the eyes as he responded, "Yes, I'm an Android." He couldn't deny it, but he didn't know what to say, his mind a flurry of scenarios.

"I don't know what you've been through, but please at least humor me for a bit. I'd like to know what you've been through, I'm here." Connor wasn't sure if what he was saying was the right thing to say, he could feel the stress of the situation, the wind was picking up your hair easily and tossing it around, reminding Connor of just how frail the human body was, a fall from this height would surely kill you.

You sighed. "Valorie," You looked towards him with wide eyes, knuckles turning white as your grip on the wall behind you tightened.

Connor grinned at you, "It's nice to meet you, Valorie."

"You know… I've already made up my mind, you're just wasting your time," You looked down at the ground below, seeing a shocked crowd of people, many of them seemed to be talking on the phone.

"If your mind is already made up, then, please? Does it make a difference whether you talk to me or not? Tell me what's going on. I want to hear you," Connor was desperately trying not to look desperate, if he could get you talking more than he was, the probability of success would go up exponentially.

"You’re an Android?" You asked without looking his way, seemingly viewing him as a simple machine, not as a living being, capable of empathy. He wasn't mad about this though, it wasn't the time, it wasn’t about him. It was only irritating as it made it harder for you to trust him.

You looked at Connor and laughed disingenuously, a wide-toothed grin formed on your face, your eyes looked swollen and puffy as tears started to form in the corners of them. After a few moments you looked back down and said “How do I know you can even feel empathy?”

"Surely if I couldn't feel empathy towards you I wouldn't be here now?" Connor said.

"You're an Android, are you not programmed for this sort of thing?" you asked.

"I'm free to do as I want now, no one is ordering me to do anything, nothing in my program has caused me to come here, I've come here because I want to listen to you. I want to understand what kind of pain could possibly leave you thinking this is the best course of action, I want you to be heard," Connor was looking in front of himself now, the chatter below was barely audible.

His words took you aback. Your mouth fell open slightly, and your lips curled down slowly as you bit your bottom lip, the water forming in your eyes threatening to burst.

"I've got nothing to live for."

A silence fell over the both of you, and Connor hummed in thought, his processor had turned yellow once more as he tried to come up with the best possible thing to say in this scenario. "You don't have to do this," he finally said, determination coating his features. You looked at him slowly, trying to force a smile on your face, unsuccessfully.

“I want to do this,” you stated firmly.

“Are you sure you want to?” he asked.

“I…” you paused briefly to catch a glimpse of the Android, he seemed so… Concerned. Genuine worry was emitting from him, that alone was almost enough to coax you back inside, but you shook your head instead.

“I’m sorry Connor,” you whispered “There’s nothing left for me here. This world… is cruel and unforgiving. These f-feelings-” You surprised yourself when you stuttered, and suddenly a wave of realization about what you were about to do hit you. 

Once the first tear broke free, a waterfall followed it as you wailed in agony, the liquid that was now coating your cheeks felt itchy.  _ 'I need to stop hesitating before I change my mind,' _ you thought, stealing another glance at the Android, who seemed to be realizing time was running out, this was it.

“Goodbye, Connor.” You squeezed your eyes shut before you could see his reaction and took a heavy faltering breath.

On the count of three.

**_'One'_ **

You let go of the wall behind you, faintly hearing the Android next to you pleading, alarm dripping from his voice.

**_'Two'_ **

You inhaled sharply and held your breath.

**_'Three!'_ **

You placed your hands back on the wall behind you and pushed off of it, jumping as you did so. Time slowed down, as soon as your feet left the ledge you felt a strong pang of regret in your gut, your head started to ache, it felt as if someone had stuck an air pump into the back of your brain and inflated it until it was about to burst. The wind on your face dried your tears as you plummeted into the abyss, your hair waved uselessly above you. It still felt as if time was slowed,  _ 'dammit, let me hit the bottom already!' _ you urgently pleaded with the world.

You felt a shooting pain run up your arm to your shoulder blade, at which point you realized your hand was in the air. 

You slowly opened your eyes to see your feet silently dangling below you, the pavement below seemed to be just as far away as before. You looked up and saw a hand tightly wrapped around your wrist, it was Connor’s hand. Connor was dangling halfway through the window himself, one hand squeezing your wrist in a death grip that kept you from falling, and the other was clinging to the edge of the window frame, his LED was whirring and red.

“What are you doing?!” You shrieked in horror as you stared at the Android, as he was clearly struggling to pull you inside.

“Grab the ledge!” he pleaded with you, you felt yourself jolt slightly and threw your head up to see his grip on the window frame. It was slipping. He was going to fall out. He was risking his life to save you, if he let go of you he’d be absolutely fine, but he wasn’t letting go and you panicked. 

Filled with adrenaline, your free hand flailed in the air above you before you felt the ledge and seized hold of it. Connor felt a rush of relief and started to pull you in, with your weight halved due to your grip to the ledge, he was able to plant his foot against the wall inside the pull you through the window, you tumbled onto the floor inside unceremoniously and Connor immediately pulled the window shut, he was breathing heavily and shaking. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 7th Jan 2020: I was not happy at all with the way the suicide attempt was written, so I completely rewrote it! Please let me know how you like it :) Writing about suicide, in particular, is really difficult because I don't want to glorify it, but I find it really difficult to write these scenes without it coming across this way. If you have any suggestions or criticism let me know!  
> Edit: 21st Jan 2020: Fixed some grammatical errors :)  
> Edit: 14th April 2020: More grammatical fixes.


	3. Gratitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Please keep in mind I'm trying to write a hate to love relationship here, so the reader is kind of an asshole at first. But don't fret! Like Hank, she's just goin through a lot rn and has a gooey interior once you get to know her 😊
> 
> Edit: 21st Jan 2020: Fixed some grammatical errors :)  
> Edit: 15th April 2020: Can you believe it, is it grammar fixes?

You rolled over on the floor for a brief moment, landing on your back, your chest was rising and falling irregularly. You reached out to feel your aching shoulder before wincing at the touch, it really hurt, you could feel the heat radiating from it. 

Pain shot up your arm like fire, it exploded in your head and felt like someone had taken a hammer to your skull and was hitting it over and over. You felt dizzy, barely able to force yourself into an upright position. 

You sat up shakily and held your head in your left hand, you rubbed your forehead. Dammit, your head really hurt too, your damaged arm was dangling uselessly by your side. 

Breathing heavily and still shaking, you took in your surroundings for a second before you completely realized what had just happened. You almost couldn’t believe it, had it been a dream? No it couldn’t be… Your eyes darted around the room and instantly focused on the Android near the window. 

He was standing up now and looked much more composed than he had when he was dangling out of the window, but he still seemed troubled.

“YOU!” You screamed at him before lurching forward, Connors LED flashed red as you tripped over your own feet and landed on your left hand, your right was still useless and banged against the floor with a hard thump. The pain from this jolted up your limb like electricity, reaching into your stomach and causing it to contract violently before you started coughing. 

You tried to force down the bile, but it was futile. 

Disgusting yellow substance was pouring from your mouth as you heaved, it seeped into the carpet and splashed back up onto your face and dripped onto your hands.

Connor was completely shocked, the last thing he expected you to do was vomit. Your face had lightened a shade. His eyes darted around the room before landing on a roll of paper towel on a bench in the kitchen. 

He quickly walked over to it and grabbed it in one hand, he looked around again and opened a few cupboards, he found a rather large container, he took it in his other hand.

Connor made his way over to you and dropped the things he held by his feet, he then kneeled down and placed his hand on your back, you started to gag so he rubbed circles on your back in a soothing gesture before he placed his other hand on your sternum. 

The Android helped you to get to your feet slowly and then helped you to shuffle to a wall where you could sit upright with some back support. Once you were seemingly comfortable, he quickly picked up what he’d grabbed from your kitchen and knelt down beside you once again, he wiped your face free from sick and placed the plastic container in your lap.

“Valorie, are you feeling alright?” he asked you, his brows furrowed in concern as he looked you over. 

A bubble of rage started to prick up your spine as you looked at Connor, your face twisted in disgust. Using your free hand, you hit Connor in the chest, even though it was harder than you had intended, the Android didn’t budge at all, he just seemed troubled by your action and tilted his head slightly.

“I’m sorry if I upset you Valorie, I just couldn’t let you fall like that,” he said calmly.

A soft whine escaped your lips and once again your eyes grew puffy and shone brightly as liquid-filled them “Why did you do that?” Your eyes squinted slightly, pushing the tears out and sending them cascading down your face.

“I understand you’re upset, Valorie-” Connor started but you interrupted him curtly. 

“You don’t understand anything you stupid Android!” You spat at him venomously and used your legs to kick him away, it wasn’t a hard kick but it was enough to make him back up slightly and raise his hands, concerned.

“I finally worked up the courage to do it and you…”

“Connor! Jesus, ‘the fuck are you doing!” An older man was suddenly in the doorway, panting and heaving as he bent over with his hands pressed on his knees, both you and Connor turned your head abruptly to look at him in the doorway.

“Have you alerted an ambulance?” Connor asked him without missing a beat.

“Yeah of course I have, what do you take me for?” the man panted in response, he looked up and rested his eyes on you, a relieved smile now painted his face. He walked over to where you were sitting and knelt down where Connor had been previously, “You feelin’ alright kid?” he placed his hand on your shoulder which caused you to recoil in pain and squeak, which surprised the man as he flinched back.

“Sorry Hank I should have warned you, she has a dislocated shoulder,” Connor said as he glanced back at you.

“Ahh, fuck, sorry kid. Well, ambulance’ is on their way, so they’ll fix it when they get here, just, don’t try to move it okay?” Hank pushed his hands off his legs to stand back up, he then noticed the vomit on the floor, wrinkled his nose slightly and gave Connor a questioning look, Connor just frowned at him in response.

The two men stayed with you in the room for a few more minutes, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. 

You refused to speak in that time, you just looked down at the ground and didn’t respond to anything, so Hank just sat on the arm of your couch where he could keep an eye on you. Connor walked around your house slowly, looking for any sort of clue that might give him information about why you had tried to commit suicide, the only thing he could find was a messy house. Nothing in particular really stood out to him as useful, it was frustrating.

Connor returned to where you were sitting, giving you a once over before he walked out of the room to stand in the hallway.

Connors LED spun amber as he drew his hand to rest on his chin. He really wasn’t sure what to make of you, sure he understood that he’d stopped you from carrying out your suicide mission, but you had still managed to help him pull you into the house by grabbing the ledge, and once you were inside you had acted rather hostile. 

He pressed his mouth together in a frown, but his LED turned blue once he spotted the paramedics, a male and female duo, it pulled him from his thoughts. 

Connor waved to them urgently and pointed them towards the room you were in, they nodded in gratitude, they were about to head in before Connor stopped them and quickly explained the situation “Her name is Valorie, she made an attempt to jump out of a window, she has a dislocated shoulder and has been vomiting, she’s also quite hostile.”

“Thank you, sir,” one of them nodded to him again, the pair both quickly filed into the room and Connor trailed behind them, looking on from afar. 

You clearly didn’t want him around, so he leaned against the doorway, pulled out his coin and started fiddling with it, it danced around on his knuckles and fingertips whilst he eavesdropped on the conversation.

You had told the paramedics to leave, just as you had told Connor to leave on that ledge. 

They were sympathetic to your plea but informed you they had to take you in regardless. You huffed at this, it was odd, your response made it seem like you were just told you couldn’t have a piece of candy, of course, that wasn’t the case, you had almost died here. 

They asked you a bunch of general routine questions, how were you feeling prior to attempting the jump? Why did you do it? Are you currently taking any medication? Ect.

You let out a deafening scream when the medics had pulled at your arm and pushed the bone back into its socket.

“Hard part is over!” The female medic stated cheerily, gesturing for her partner to unfold the stretcher and wheel it over to you. The two of them hoisted you onto it easily, being careful not to irritate your swollen shoulder. You grunted in annoyance and allowed them to strap you in, the medics waved to Hank and Connor before they wheeled you out of the room towards the elevator.

Hank was rubbing his eyes and face at this point, clearly exhausted by the situation that just unfolded. The pair lingered in the room for a bit.

“We should go back to the station to file a report about this,” Connor suggested after a short while as he walked back out into the hallway, you were already within the closed elevator at this point. Hank followed behind him, but when Connor was walking down the barren empty hall, he stopped hearing Hank's footprints and turned around to find out why he’d stopped walking.

“You could have died Connor,” he stated with a reprimanding tone, arms crossed.

“Well of course I could have died, that is what the job entails, Lieutenant,” Connor looked back at Hank with a perplexed expression.

“I don’t-” Hank huffed and shook his head, “I was watching from the street, Connor. I saw the way you grabbed that girl, I saw the way your hand was slipping. You almost fell out the fuckin’ window!” Hank threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

“I had an 85% chance of saving her. If I hadn’t done anything, the chance of that girl dying was almost 100%,” Connor looked down at the ground and turned back to continue down the hallway, but after a few steps he still didn’t hear Hank behind him, so he turned around slightly and looked over his shoulder at the lieutenant. 

“Tell what I should have done, Hank.”

Hank stared at him for a beat too long, he sighed before he picked up his walk again and caught up with Connor further down the hallway. Once Hank was next to him, Connor started to walk as well, approaching the elevator he pressed the button next to its doors.

“So you had a 15% chance of failing,” Hank started, he stepped into the elevator as the door opened before continuing to speak; “15%. Does that mean there was a 15% chance of you dying?” 

Connor gave him a shocked look, his eyes darted from the shiny metal wall and back to Hank.

“My chance of falling was 5%. The risk was quite low, as long as I didn’t make a mistake I wouldn’t have fallen. But when I saw that girl's face, my body just acted on its own before I could even really process what I was doing. It was... strange.” Connor took his eyes off Hank again and let his vision rest on the glossy wall of the elevator, he was completely puzzled by the whole situation, his eyebrows knitted together as he pondered it.

“But if I had processed the risks properly, I still would have done it,” he quickly added.

The walk across the road towards Hank's car was quiet. Both men were lost for words.

The drive back to the station was also quiet, but a minute before they arrived, Hank had said “I’m glad you’re okay, Connor.”

Connor smiled at him and said “Thank you, Lieutenant. I’m just glad I was able to get to that girl in time,”

Hank sighed, “Yeah, me too,” He pulled into a park and turned the ignition off, opening the door he stepped out onto the harsh concrete, Connor followed suit.

* * *

Inside the station, the two filed their report and since Connor had run a scan on you, he was able to fill in your details perfectly. Your full name, 21 years old, born in July of 2018.

The rest of the day was quiet. Connor tried to focus on his work, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened, he didn’t understand. 

He’d seen the aftermath of suicide in crime scenes, he knew Hank had suicidal tendencies, and of course he knew that people committed suicide every day. But this was the first time he actually saw it in real-time. He saw somebody decide to die. He saw you accept it and brace yourself before jumping, how hopeless you'd seemed.

“Hank, I… I can’t stop thinking about that girl from today,” he said whilst sitting in his chair, staring at an unrelated case on his terminal. His LED was flashing yellow.

Hank sighed, “I don’t know what to tell ya’ kid, it’s rough.”

Connor leaned forward, putting his elbows on his desk and resting his head on the back of his hands, “I don’t understand why anyone would do that.” He paused and looked at Hank. “Why did you do it?” Hanks' face flushed with annoyance.

“Why’d I do what.” It was a question, but the way Hank said it made it seem like it was more of a warning.

“I remember back when I found you passed out in your kitchen, with that loaded gun-” Connor was cut off by Hank saying “Jesus Connor, that’s not something you just bring up!” He was appalled by the Androids sudden question and glanced around to make sure no one was in earshot.

“Sorry Lieutenant, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I’m just trying to understand,” Connor looked back towards his terminal.

Hank let a huff of hair escape his nostrils, “She’s probably depressed or something. Everyone has their own reasons,” he said.

“Depression,” the Android mused. “I wonder if Androids can get depression,” Hank pretended not to hear him, but his eyes squinted slightly and confirmed he had in fact heard.

At 5:30PM, Captain Fowler sent both Hank and Connor home for the day because they were “Staying on the payroll when there was no work for them today.” 

Hank seemed joyful about going home early, while Connor didn’t feel any particular way about it.

* * *

You were lying in a hospital bed, wearing a blue hospital gown.

“Stupid fucking Android,” you hissed under your breath as you pulled the blanket over your head. Your arm was in a sling, and only throbbed slightly, the pain started to subside a few minutes after the paramedics had pushed your shoulder back into its socket. According to the nurse, you’d torn some muscle, but you were going to make a full recovery in around 3 months.

“Hello Valorie,” the nurse who’d been tending to you entered the room by pushing the curtain wall aside and pulling it back into place. She was looking through some paperwork on a clipboard. 

“Everything seems to be in order. I know you keep saying you want to go home, we can’t keep you here against your will, so you’re free to go, but I strongly suggest checking yourself into our psychiatric ward here, it would only be for a few days,” She wrote something down and looked at you.

“Hard pass,” you said.

“Alright, well, just think about it okay? There’s nothing wrong with asking for help,” She smiled sympathetically and left the room.

You sat upright in the bed, swinging your legs over the side. Your clothes were hastily thrown on one of the plastic chairs in the corner of the room, you marched up to them, bare feet slapping on the ground, and scooped them up. You wrinkled your nose at the smell, and you remembered that you’d vomited earlier, “ugh.”

You walked into the bathroom attached to the sidewall and locked the door behind you. After changing into your clothes you exited the room and threw the hospital gown on the bed, you slipped your shoes on and scurried out and through the hallways, head down. 

Once you were outside, you found the taxi hub and quickly jumped inside, after saying your address out loud the self driving car pulled out smoothly and you were on your way.

It was snowing outside, the ice on the road had turned to brown mush after being run over by vehicles all day. Blues and greys painted the world outside, people were walking around with umbrellas and bars were starting to fill up. You looked out of the side window, taking in the surroundings, you wondered how you were going to get out of talking to your lobby lady once you arrived. 

You sighed as you passed Jimmy’s Bar, but you saw something that made your breath catch in your throat. Connor was standing with his hand on the door, halfway open, but he’d paused and was staring right at you as the taxi roared past. He was looking straight into your eyes, and as the car traveled by the scene you shuffled your body around to look out the back window, he was still looking, a thoughtful expression coated his features.

You turned back around and looked out the front window, “Just my luck huh,” you scoffed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter was kind of short, I'm really not sure how long I should be making each chapter 😅  
> Thank you for the comments and kudos! I appreciate it a lot 💖  
> Let me know if you find any grammar mistakes, typos or misspellings. All criticism is welcome!


	4. Coincidences

After getting off work early, Hank decided he wanted to go to Jimmy’s bar for a few drinks, much to Connors disapproval. 

Connor tagged along with Hank to make sure he could monitor his alcohol consumption. He knew Hank didn’t like it when he did that, but Connor was more concerned about Hank's health rather than how he felt about it.

After arriving at the bar, Hank headed in almost instantly, but Connor lingered outside for a few moments, he took in his surroundings and watched people hurry by, catching glimpses of conversation.

“...damn straight! I told him right where he could shove it…”

“...been working all week, the snow keeps filling my boots with water…”

“...I’m so glad! She really deserves a break…”

“...where’s this place again? I can’t find it…”

Tiny pieces of conversation littered Connors audio processors, before turning deviant, he never would’ve bothered to stop and enjoy little things like that. 

It was still so strange to him, he couldn’t even remember what it felt like to be a simple machine. It made him wonder, was he ever really  **‘just a machine’** in the first place? Before he could continue pondering, something caught his eye and made him spin around quickly.

A self-driving taxi roared past with you in the passenger seat. It had only been a few hours prior when Connor saved you from that ledge, and now you were… going home?

He almost couldn’t believe it, they were just letting you leave? After all that? His LED had rotated into a dark crimson as he stared into your eyes. You noticed him, and a look of horror fell over your face, your eyes were opened wide.

And then you were gone.

The androids LED settled back into blue when you were out of sight, he quickly stepped into the bar and walked his way over to where Hank was seated at the bar.

“Lieutenant, I…” he started as he took a seat next to the man. Hank turned his head to look at him with a grin while he took a shot of something.

//scanning…

//Results: Tequila

-Isovaleraldehyde, Isoamyl alcohol, B-damascenone, Vanillin, Methanol.

Connor frowned and slightly shook his head.

“Don’t give me that look, it’s been a long day,” Hank said.

“I saw that girl again,” Connor stated matter-of-factly.

“What? What are you talkin’ about?” Hank quirked an eyebrow.

“Valorie. The girl from the ledge, I saw her. She was in a taxi, I presume on her way home,” Connor said with a frown.

Hank muttered under his breath, “Jesus Christ,” before signaling to the bartender to get him another of the same.

“I think it’s highly irresponsible of the hospital to let her go home this soon after the incident,” Connor said. 

He thought for a moment, then pressed his mouth together in a frown, “I understand it’s illegal to hold someone without their consent under normal circumstances, but she’s a danger to herself. Legally they could’ve kept her.”

“You’re gettin’ way too personally invested in this, Connor.” Hank huffed.

Connor narrowed his eyes slightly.

“I’m not trying to upset you, I just-” Hank turned to face him and plopped his empty shot glass on the bar. “Look. I’ve had plenty of cases that I felt way too invested in, and it doesn’t help, at all. Yeah it’s shitty, but it’s not in our hands anymore. At the end of the day, if that girl wants to kill herself, she’s gonna find a way to do it, alright? Try not to get too caught up in it,” Hank took another shot.

He was drinking more than usual, as much as Hank's words had merit, Connor could tell he was also affected by the incident, even though Hank would deny it.

Connors LED swirled yellow briefly before he said “I’m going to request a wellness check,” He blinked rapidly while he sent the request, then he straightened his tie while he calmed down. The situation was under control, for now. 

He’d check in tomorrow to make sure his request was obliged.

“So, you’re gonna chill out now?” Hank asked.

“I suppose, but I am very worried about your alcohol consumption. I strongly insist you-” Connor was abruptly cut off. 

“Fuck Connor, I didn’t let you come with me to be lectured. It’s been a stressful day, can’t you just get off my back just this once?” Hank said.

Connor looked down, “Sorry, Lieutenant. I just worry about your health, I enjoy our friendship, I want you to live out the rest of your life in good health. It would make me quite unhappy if your life were to be… cut short,“ Connor glanced up at him. Hank breathed in and sighed heavily. 

“Alright kid. I’ll have one beer, and then I’ll go home.”

Connors face lit up immediately and he sat up straighter than before, “You’ve made a great choice! You’ll thank yourself for that tomorrow.” Connor grinned.

* * *

The taxi pulled up in front of your apartment complex, a robotic voice echoed from the car speakers, “Your ride was twenty-one dollars and fifty cents,” You quickly felt around in the front pocket on your sweater and found your wallet, you fumbled around with it trying to find your visa card and promptly pressed it against the pay-wave machine. 

“Payment accepted, thank you for using ‘Detroit Taxi Services’,” You heard the doors unlock and then you stepped out into the cold, a harsh breeze hit your face as soon as you exited. You’d barely made it inside the building when you discovered that talking to your lobby lady was not the only obstacle you’d have to overcome.

“Oh my dear, you’re back!” An old woman you recognized as living down the hall from you peeked her head over the lobby counter, her silver hair was tied into a braid and hung down her back.

“Valorie!” The lobby lady whose name you never bothered to remember exclaimed. Both of them rose from their seats and hurried over to you.

You managed to get out a simple “H-hello,” before being hugged by the older lady. 

“I’m so glad you’re safe! You really gave us all quite the scare!” she exclaimed. You pushed her back lightly and said “Ahh careful, I’ve got sick all over myself,” You gestured to the vomit staining the front of your sweater with an embarrassed expression. 

The older lady shook her head lightly and pulled you back in for another hug while your good arm hung by your side. “Nevermind that dear!” She pulled you in close and guided your head to rest on her shoulder with a gentle hand. “We’re a community here, please don’t hesitate to ask us for help,” she whispered whilst her hand stroked your hair.

Completely overwhelmed by the physical affection, your cheeks grew to a rosy pink color and your eyes were opened just a little wider than usual. 

After a few more moments, she let you go and stood back, wiping her eyes. “I mean it dear, if you need help with anything at all don't hesitate, my door will always be open for you,” She smiled and handed you a note, it appeared to have been ripped from old lined paper.

‘Jennifer Wilson, # (123) 4XX-XXX, room 4

Never give up! We are all here for you’

You almost couldn’t believe it, you’d barely even uttered a hello to this woman before today, and now she was opening up her home to you. 

Awkwardness overcame you and sent you into a bubbling stuttering mess, “T-Thank you miss Wilson, I appreciate it…” She waved a hand in front of her face and giggled slightly “Jenny, please,” she said. 

You smiled in a way that didn’t quite reach your eyes in response and pocketed the note, “Jenny,” you repeated. 

The three of you sat in silence for a few seconds. “Ah, um, I really do need to get back to my room, but thank you-” You were about to walk towards the elevator when the lobby lady spoke up, “Okay but you should know I’ve hired someone to clean up your room a little, I wanted to help so I thought it would be nice for you to come back to a clean house, I didn’t think you’d be back so soon though, sorry,” She looked apologetic, and it took everything you had to stop yourself from sighing and to keep an irritated expression off your face. 

If you wanted someone cleaning your stuff, you would’ve hired them yourself. You didn’t want some random person you don’t even know poking around in your things, you’d have to tell them to leave as soon you saw them, maybe she was trying to be helpful but… no. It’s not okay, you thought. 

But your mouth had a different opinion, “Thank you,” you said before quickly scampering off to the elevator, leaving the two behind.

You wanted to avoid talking to any more people on your way to your apartment. You felt your pockets for your room key, letting out an aggravated huff when it was nowhere to be found, so you tried the doorknob to your room and it opened. You weren’t sure what annoyed you more, the fact that you left your key inside or the fact that your house had been left open.

You opened your door to see your house in immaculate condition. All of your dishes had been done, the bin was emptied and the recycling was taken out, the floor was vacuumed, and all the papers that were previously scattered all over the floor were now neatly stacked on your coffee table. 

You were snapped out of your annoyance and left in mild shock while you gawked at the now clean living space.

_ ’I forgot it ever even looked like this,’ _ you thought to yourself.

You closed the door behind you and continued looking around, running your fingertips over the now sparkling clean kitchen bench. You heard a creak and click down the hallway, and when you turned your head you saw a beautiful young woman standing outside your bedroom door. 

She smiled warmly towards you and walked through the short hallway to meet you where you were standing in the kitchen. This woman had crystal blue eyes and soft eyebrows, her nose looked like that of a cute little button and her smile was very soothing, she also sported a short, blonde pixie haircut. She wore a simple black button-up collar dress that fell down to her calves with plain tiny kitten heels, it looked very professional, it must have been a uniform of some sort.

“Hello,” she said, “You must be Valorie. My name is Kara.”

You gawked at her beautiful appearance for a beat too long before responding. “Ah! Yes, I’m Valorie.” You scuffed the floor with your foot for a moment and added “Thanks for cleaning up around here, I mean, wow, you must think I’m some sort of slob huh?” you said and smiled up at her meekly. 

She looked down at you with the warmth of a mother seeing her newborn child for the first time. “Don’t worry, I’ve seen worse. It wasn’t that bad anyway, once I heard about your situation I was honestly expecting a lot worse-” She cupped her hands over her mouth, realizing that what she was saying was probably inappropriate, she removed her hands before saying “I’m sorry. What I meant to say is that I understand, and I don’t think you’re a slob,” 

You nodded at her and averted your gaze, glancing around the house. “Uhm, how much do I owe you? For all of this,” you asked, gesturing towards the apartment. Kara brightened at the change of topic, “You don’t owe me anything, It’s already been paid for!” she said.

“O-oh…” You looked down towards your feet and asked “Do you know who paid for it?”

Kara tilted her head slightly and shot you a tiny smile. “I believe it was one of the people who own this complex,” she said.

“Okay, well, thank you. You did a really good job!” Your cheeks dusted a shade of pastel pink after you complimented her.

“I’m glad you think so! Here, I’ll give you this before I leave;” Kara reached into her pocket, pulled out a business card and handed it to you.

“Thank you, I’ll make sure to call if I need any cleaning done,” You smiled meekly again and looked down at the card, the business was called “Android Cleaning Detroit”, with small text below that said “Run ethically by Androids”. 

It was hard to hide your dip in expression, but Kara clearly noticed, although she didn’t say anything. You looked back up at her and quickly said “Sorry sorry! I just didn’t realize you were an Android, it shocked me a little!” Kara’s smile returned. “Oh, okay. Well anyway, I’m done here so I need to get going, but I hope you feel better soon!” 

She waved at you as she turned around, you returned her wave and watched her leave, she was very gentle when she closed the front door.

Once she was gone, you sighed and collapsed onto your couch pressing your face into a pillow. “Another Android huh,” you whispered to yourself. 

“Soon I’m gonna be surrounded by them, sheesh,” You rolled onto your back and flipped on the TV, only to be greeted by an image of you swinging out of your window with Connor’s hand wrapped tightly around yours. You immediately switched it back off without sticking around to read the headlines or listen to the commentary. You dug your good palm into one eye and groaned, it turned your vision black.

Keeping the one hand glued to your face, you rose from the couch and made a beeline to your bedroom.  _ ’I need a shower anyway,’ _ you thought. 

You felt a wave of relief when you looked through your closet, noticing that none of your clothes had been touched. You pulled out a few comfy items, some fluffy socks, grey sweatpants that were at least three sizes too big, and a short-sleeved lilac-colored shirt with some random logo on it, and for the life of you, you had no idea what the logo was supposed to be.

The hot shower water turned your skin red as it rushed over your body as it soothed your clammy, sweaty skin. 

You tilted your head to the side, letting the water run over your neck and face. You scrubbed your skin with a floral smelling soap for at least 15 minutes, you were rubbing your skin raw, you wanted to keep going as an excuse to stay in the shower. 

But alas, you could feel the water starting to cool down and you reluctantly turned the tap off, you were not willing to expose yourself to the hot water running out.

You stepped out of the shower and caught yourself in the mirror, you hadn’t seen yourself since that morning, and you were horrified by what you saw staring back at you. 

Your shoulder and collarbone were bruised black and blue, it looked painfully swollen. Your skin was beet red after the boiling shower water and excessive soap scrubbing, but your face was what really caught you off guard. 

Your eyes were so red and puffy, and a deep purple stain was set under your eyes. 

You’d never seen your eyes look so… pathetic. The reflection itself was almost enough to make you tear up, but you squeezed your eyes shut and turned around, you refused to cry again that day.

After throwing on your new, clean clothes, you exited the room and quickly made your way to the laundry area, grabbing a basket and returning to the bathroom. You placed it on the toilet seat and threw all of your old clothes inside, and then headed back out. 

You were about to dump everything in the washing machine when you remembered the note the old lady had given you, so you fished through the pockets, after finding it you promptly dumped everything in the wash. You weren’t exactly planning on using the note at all, but the least you could do was put in an effort to not destroy it. 

You decided sticking it to the fridge using a sticker magnet was a good idea, so that’s what you did.  _ ’Fuck. Hell with it,’ _ you thought and scanned the room, you set your sights on the business card Kara had given you. Once you’d found it, you placed it on the fridge next to Jennifer's note.

Even though you were exhausted, sleep didn’t come to you easily that night.

You tossed the turned, every time you thought you would fall asleep, you were jolted awake by visions of your feet dangling out of your window, it gave you unrelenting vertigo. You turned to face your bedside clock and grunted at the time displayed.

4:12 AM

It blinked in your face faintly, as if it were mocking you. 

Distressed, you ripped off your blankets and flung your feet over the side of the bed, letting them hit the floor with a hard thud. 

You turned to your clock and ripped it from the table with such intensity that it was unplugged from the outlet, you then threw it against the wall. It collided with a sickening smashing sound, pieces of plastic and glass spun out and littered the floor. 

You still didn’t feel better, so you threw yourself out of bed entirely and ran straight into the kitchen. 

You flung the cupboard under the sink open, your eyes sparkled in the darkness when you found what you were looking for. 

You reached back into the void of space, your hand returned holding an old dingy grey ashtray, a pack of 26 Marlboro cigarettes, and a lighter. You inhaled deeply as you closed the cupboard door and walked over to your living room window, the same one from before.

You opened it ¼ of the way, sat the ashtray on the windowsill and shoved a cigarette between your lips, the lighter followed closely behind. You ignited it and listened to the sickly crackle of chemicals burning while you took a deep, slow inhale of the cancerous stick. 

Relief flooded your mind and body and made you feel lightheaded, you exhaled and blew the smoke directly out the window, trying to make sure as little of it as possible roamed back inside.

You sat like this for ten minutes, enjoying it, letting yourself breathe, before crushing the spent cigarette against the weak metal of the ashtray. 

_ ’Three years down the drain,’ _ you thought to yourself grimly. You then poured yourself a glass of cold water from the tap and drank the whole thing in the kitchen, then, you made your walk of shame back into bed.

You knew you’d at least be able to get a few hours of sleep after that, even if those hours were plagued with visions of you plummeting into hard concrete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos so far! I know it's cliche, but this is my first fic posted to this site, so it really does keep me motivated to write more chapters! 
> 
> Also, sorry again for the short chapter, I wanted to add the next day as a part of this chapter, but I felt it ended on a good note, even if it's a bit short, please forgive me (´･ω･｀)
> 
> Edit: 21st Jan 2020: Fixed some grammatical errors :)  
> Edit: 15th April 2020: There's no way... Grammar fixes...


	5. Headache

You woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache, the curtain hadn’t been closed properly and it was letting a honey-colored light filter into the room, tiny particles danced around in the tunnels of light and the furniture was glowing under the orange hue. 

Your shoulder felt tender, you assumed you must have knocked it in your sleep or something. You stretched out your entire body and felt a satisfying pop in your back as you did so. Next to your bed on the floor sat your sling, it had been hastily cast aside the night before, you reached out for it and fit it around your arm and neck until it sat comfortably.

Your head was starting to thud even more painfully,  _ ‘ugh, I need painkillers now,’  _ you thought begrudgingly.

Your walk to the kitchen was reminiscent of a zombie, and the groan you made after discovering you had zero pain or headache medication in the house was also reminiscent of a zombie. 

Glancing towards your front door you realized you were going to have to go outside to buy more.  _ ‘This is ok,’  _ you thought,  _ ‘the walk to the pharmacy isn’t that far away,’  _ You ambled back to your bedroom, into the closet and then you threw a bunch of clothes together on the bed, a red varsity jacket with white puffy sleeves was a staple you wore most days.

You threw everything on and threaded your left arm through the sleeve of the jacket and let the other side rest on your shoulder over the sling. You then glanced towards your bedside table with a look of exasperation. 

Hesitantly you pulled the top drawer open and retrieved your phone, pressing the power button revealed that it was 1:30 PM, you also had a long wall of missed notifications.

“Huh,” you mused, “I’m surprised there’s any battery left in this thing.”

You hadn’t so much as looked at your phone in over two weeks, you’d turned it on silent mode because the depressive slum you’d fallen into convinced you that there was no point in communicating with others, especially since you’d already made up your mind about what you were going to do with your life at that point. 

The battery percentage was 23%.

You scrolled through all the missed alerts, swiping them away after skimming over the text. Facebook notifications were mostly what you’d missed, but you had a few texts as well.

「Vicky: We missed u last night, hope 2 see u soon...」

Swipe.

「Vicky: Please don’t ignore me :(」

Swipe.

「Daniel Work: You’re half an hour late, where are you??」

「Daniel work: ???」

「Missed call from “Daniel Work”」

「Missed call from “Daniel Work”」

「Missed call from “Daniel Work”」

「Daniel Work: There better be a good reason for this」

「Missed call from “Daniel Work”」

「Daniel Work: I’m going to assume something bad has happened, get bac...」

_ ‘Ahh, all from the same day,’  _ you thought.

There were a multitude of missed calls and texts from Daniel, all with the same tone. You swiped them all away, except for the last one.

「Daniel work: It’s been a week and a half, I’d rather do this in person but s...」

You tapped on this one to open it, expanding it so you could read the full message.

「Daniel work: It’s been a week and a half, I’d rather do this in person but since I am unable to contact you I’ll let you know this way. We’ve temporarily terminated your contract, which means you no longer work for us. We’re going to leave it open for 3 weeks, and if you still don’t contact us within this time with a very good reason for not showing up to work and ignoring all of our efforts to contact you, this termination will be permanent. I hope you are well.」

You hummed in thought and removed all your other notifications automatically, it wasn’t the reason you picked your phone back up, after all.

You shoved the phone into your pocket and headed out the front door and down the hallway. 

Looking at your phone screen for that short amount of time managed to make your headache even worse, it left your expression bitter. 

The walk to the pharmacy wasn’t that long, only about 10 minutes, give or take. You were halfway down the hall when you remembered the cigarettes on your bench and swiftly made a 180 to retrieve them, they probably wouldn’t help with your headache but it was only getting worse anyway, _ ‘Can’t hurt that much,’  _ you thought. 

This time on your way out the door, you swiped up a green knitted beanie that was hanging from your coat rack and tossed it onto your head, you tucked it over your ears.

The lobby lady gave you a polite wave which you returned, you thought that she must have understood you weren’t exactly into conversation with strangers.

The air outside had a slight bite to it, and snow still covered the ground, but the sun shone brightly and lit up the snow particles on the ground, making them sparkle like diamonds.

You stopped briefly to light a cigarette and made your hurried walk to the pharmacy. The walk wasn’t so bad, the headache was quite awful at that point, but you were already used to that kind of pain.

The sidewalks weren’t as busy as usual.

Before you knew it, you were at the local pharmacy, the cashier greeted you when you entered the store and you nodded at him. You made your way over to the headache relief aisle and squatted down to get a better look at the items on the bottom shelf, the one you fancied the most was $19.99. You unlocked your phone and brought up your banking app, your face dropped.

$2.39 available balance

You’d spent all of your money over the past two weeks with nothing coming in to replace it, and the last of it was gone with the taxi from the previous night. 

You thought about that for a moment and found yourself quite relieved that you’d had the money in your account for that taxi, being locked inside and waiting for the cops was not how you wanted to spend yesterday. You tsk'd under your breath and tried to stand up, but your head sent you spinning and you had to sit back down.

_ ‘Alright then, leaving without pain relief isn’t an option,’  _ you thought bitterly. 

You quickly looked around over your shoulder, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, you then reached out for the box and looked it over, acting as if you were just reading the back. And then, as subtly as you could, you shoved the small-sized box into the sling on your arm, and you pulled your jacket over the top of it to cover up the shape that stuck out underneath.

_ ‘Can’t stick around,’  _ you thought whilst grinning slightly, you thought you’d gotten away with this petty theft for sure. 

You were wrong. Once you exited the store, a man tapped you on the shoulder, and when you turned around you saw a dark-skinned man shaking his head at you.

“What seems to be the problem sir?” You tried to play off your guilt, but this man was having none of it, he gripped your good shoulder tightly, and with his other hand, he flipped the jacket covering your sling up, he saw the cardboard boxes shape underneath and confirmed his suspicions. Your grin faltered as the man signaled something to someone inside, and you knew you’d been caught red-handed. You sighed.

“I’m guessing you called the cops, huh?” you asked him. He nodded in response and said “Sure did.”

You swallowed hard, anxiety creeping into your brain as you started to comprehend exactly what has just happened.

“Welp, that sucks for me. Mind if I have a smoke before the law gets here?” Your voice was uncharacteristically chipper, it was probably caused by internal panic, though. 

The man thought for a moment and released his grip on your shoulder, pointing at a chair nearby. “If you sit there and wait like a good little thief, then yeah, I don't see why not.” His tone was completely flat. 

You gave a short fake laugh and took a seat, lighting a cigarette without hesitation, your hand was shaking. You were hugging yourself slightly, you shivered, but not from the cold.

_ ‘Wait,’  _ you thought after a few moments, eyes brightening with realization.  _ ‘Why am I worried? I have nothing left to lose, and I’m still planning on killing myself. I have no reason to be afraid of anything, let alone an arrest,’  _ Before you knew it you were grinning like an idiot, which seemed to concern the man standing before you.

“Uhh, are you on anything I should know about?'' he questioned you, not completely devoid of concern.

“Nope!” Your reply was immediate and lively. He furrowed his brow and you continued, “I just realized something kind of funny, that’s all.”

“... And that would be?” His eyebrows were knitted together and a frown was plastered on his face now.

You hummed for a moment, “Nah, sorry. I don’t think I wanna tell you, mister,” you said with a happy tone. 

You sat in silence with the man for a few more minutes, happily puffing away like a child with a lollipop. The police arrived shortly thereafter, and the man who’d caught you was showing one of them a recording on some sort of tablet, it was security footage of you stealing the medicine and leaving the store with it.

A young female police officer approached you and showed you her badge, it read ‘Tina Chen’.

“Stealing huh?” she said as she looked down on you, “According to the cashier here, you took a box of ‘pro plus headache relief’, do you still have it on you?” she asked.

“Sure I do, I’m assuming you want it back?” you said. 

“Please” Tina replied. 

You reached into your sling and handed the product to the officer, she quickly made some notes on a tablet and handed the box to the man you’d caught you, “Have you taken anything else?” she questioned you, tablet open ready to type.

“Nope, that’s it,” you said. Tina hummed for a moment, before saying “Ok. We need to take you back to the station, if you comply without resisting, your punishment won’t be as severe,” She gestured for you to stand up, she took a look at your sling and asked, “Did you put that sling on your arm to aid your attempted theft?”

You laughed, “haha, no. I dislocated my shoulder,”

Tina turned to face her partner and said “Alright Robert, we’re gonna take her in now,” The larger man nodded in response and walked over to stand next to you on your left, with Tina on your right side. You took one last puff of your cigarette and snuffed it out on the ground, the male officer lightly gripped your arm and the three of you made the short walk to the police car, Tina opened the back door and you climbed in without argument. The drive was silent and short, you had arrived at the station after only a few minutes.

The two guided you inside, walking you through to the back past all the detective desks. 

The interior was cold and silver, typing and light chatter filled the air, but you weren’t really paying attention because your headache had come back with a vengeance. It had gone away during your elation at the realization you had earlier, but that fearless rush you felt earlier was all but gone, now you were nervous.

The two officers led you into a small glass holding cell with a bed, which you immediately rushed to and flopped down on.

"I need to go and file a report, but I'll be back shortly," she said. You groaned in response.

You sat there in silence, for the most part, occasionally grunting in pain whenever your head rushed with a particularly painful wave. 

Seconds passed, which turned into minutes. 

You stared at the white ceiling for a bit, looked through the glass walls, observing the occasional officer walk past. You felt your eyes grow heavy, so you closed them, you wouldn't have been able to fall asleep, but the lack of visuals did help to aid your thumping head a bit.

After a few minutes of this, you heard the door click open and you jolted upright, you whipped your head towards the direction of the house.

"Hello Valorie," Connor greeted you.

You didn't say anything in response, you could only stare at him, bewildered.

"You tried to steal headache relief medicine," he stated, completely deadpan. Again you didn't respond, but he continued; "if you're experiencing any pain now, I can get you something for it?"

"Yes! Yes please," you exclaimed in response before even processing the words, but Connor was already out the door as soon as you'd agreed. 

You wailed softly and slumped back down onto the bed, pushing your hand into your face in embarrassment.

Connor was a police officer? You had no idea, you thought he was just some random passerby Android when he appeared in your apartment, but the more you thought about it the more you realized how much sense it made. 

The apartment had been locked initially, and he was able to enter with no issue. He must have been able to get a key quickly, and how did he do that? 

He was an officer.

_ 'GOD my luck is terrible,’  _ you thought,  _ ‘Of course he's here.’ _

After a minute or so Connor was back in your cell with a glass of water and two pills in his hand, he handed both to you and you took them reluctantly. 

Now you weren't so sure if you wanted to take him up on his offer, but a pounding thud of pain crashed against your skull made you cringe and made the decision for you, you eagerly popped the pills into your mouth and downed the entire glass of water like a drain.

"According to the box, it'll take approximately 10 minutes for the pain relief to set in, so I'll be back then," He was just about to walk out the door when you spoke up, "W-wait!" you said. Connor turned back around expectantly, "yes?"

You hesitated for a quick moment before saying "Officer Tina, I thought she was dealing with me?" The side of Connors mouth quirked slightly, "Yes. She was." And then he was gone. You couldn't believe it.

10 minutes had passed and the pain was exponentially better, your head still throbbed a little, but it was more of an annoyance now. 

Connor was back. "This way, please," he instructed, gesturing towards the door. He led you down the hallway and into another small room, this one had a table in the middle and a large mirror made up one of the walls, you sat down in one of the two chairs, slightly swaying your legs after you were seated.

Connor took his seat across the table from you, you noted his perfect posture.

"Now Valorie. Normally we wouldn't take someone in for questioning over a small petty theft like the one you committed," he started, and you interrupted him; "So why did you?" Your tone was harsh.

He tapped his fingers on the table gently and leaned forward, "Because you tried to end your own life recently, and I think there's more going on than just the petty theft charge you're facing,"

You huffed, closed your eyes, and turned your face away from him. "Oh yes, let's relive that memory again," Annoyance laced your words.

"I get the feeling that you're… irritated by my presence, I apologize, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable," Connor said, sympathy spreading out onto his features.

"If you don't want to make me uncomfortable, then leave. Send someone else in."

"I'm afraid I can't do that Valorie. Sorry,"

You tutted and turned back to face him, "You wanna know why I'm 'irritated'?" You dragged out the last word in a sarcastic manner, using quote fingers as you did so. Connor just looked at you and nodded.

"You-" You pointed at him as you said the word, "-took my choice away. That was MY decision, and you took that away from me. I'm not happy to still be here, and I don't know if I can work up the courage to try it again, it was a really difficult decision for me, you know, I thought about it for months," you said in an accusatory tone, your eyes were narrowed and your cheeks were flushed.

Connor stared at you for a beat too long, and his LED flashed into an Amber light. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Valorie."

"Unbelievable." you said.

"We offer a lot of services that could be of great help to you," Connors body language was open and inviting, even though his yellow LED betrayed the vibe he was trying to give off.

"You know I'm gonna lose my place soon, I've already lost my job, and rents due for me soon. I'm gonna be kicked out," you spat.

"We can help you get another job, and we can help you with prolonging your rents due date," Connor leaned forward again, "I know things must seem impossible now, but you can turn your life back around, trust me," he pleaded.

"Maybe I don't want to turn my life around! Maybe I want to CHOOSE to end it early. There's billions of people on this planet, people die all the time, what difference does it make if I choose that for myself now?" You felt the rage prickling up into your spine, heavy emotions made your head feel as if it were made of bubbles.

"What if I was to tell you that your suicide would affect more than just you?" Connor said.

"They'd get over it," you replied.

"Would they? Statistically speaking, the majority of people who are around someone when they commit suicide blame themselves for the rest of their lives, sometimes even committing suicide themselves. And I don't just mean friends and family. Coworkers, employers, neighbors, law enforcement, just to name a few," Connor was trying his best to sway you, but it came off more as patronizing.

"So should I stay here and suffer because other people would be upset?" you asked, mouth pressed down into a scowl.

"No, but you should try to help yourself. If you're going to die anyway, why not at least try it?" Connor said, tapping his finger on the table again. You sighed, "because I don't really want to,"

"Why are you so determined to kill yourself?" Connor asked, somewhat coldly.

"I… listen. That's not something I really want to discuss with you, Android," you said as you dug your feet into the ground and looked down.

"Do you dislike Androids?" Connor changed the subject.

"Yes. Well actually, no. Not any more than I dislike humans. I don't like anyone," you stated.

Connor leaned back in his chair, seemingly content with your answer. You eyed him suspiciously.

"What do you like to do for fun, Valorie?"

"Nothing."

"Do you have any friends you regularly hang out with?"

"No."

"Do you see your family often?"

"No."

"Where are they?"

"I have no idea."

Connor caught the hesitation on your face at the last question, you were lying.

"No family at all? You have no idea where they are? Really?" he questioned you, and your stern expression shifted slightly under Connors unrelenting gaze.

"I wasn't raised by my parents, so I really don't have any idea where they are, and I don't really care either," you replied, squirming slightly under his stare.

"Who raised you?" Connor asked. You stayed silent, but you were unable to tear your gaze away from his. "I can find out myself, but I thought it'd be more respectful to ask you directly," he said.

"Tch. Androids," you snarled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading y'all! Please leave a comment if you find any spelling errors or mistakes, and again, criticism and feedback is more than welcome! 
> 
> Please also let me know if the direction of !reader is ok, I don't want her to be too unlikable in these first chapters!  
> ( ꈍᴗꈍ)
> 
> Edit: 21st Jan 2020: Fixed some grammatical errors <3  
> Edit: 15th April 2020: I bet you can't guess... *sweats*


	6. One-Way Mirror

“So if your parents didn’t raise you, who did?” he asked. 

“Alright, dude. I fail to see how this is relevant,” you said.

Connor just looked at you expectantly. "I, uhm, well…" you stammered, "What are you getting at?"

Connor’s piercing gaze cut right through you, you realized he could probably tell you weren't being truthful, so your strategy changed "Well actually, I have the right to remain silent don't I? So I don't have to tell you anything really," You leaned back on your chair and shoved a hand in your pocket, your head fell back, giving you a clear view of the ceiling. You tapped your foot on the floor and got up, walking over to the mirror.

"This is one of those one-sided mirror window things right?" You tapped on its surface and tried looking at it from different angles to see if you could look through it, to no avail.

"Correct," Connor was observing you, he found your behavior to be odd, considering the circumstances.

You turned to Connor and pointed at the mirror, "Do you know how it works?" You weren't expecting him to answer you at all, as you were clearly trying to change the subject.

A tiny smile tugged on the corner of his mouth, engaging humans in their random questions was always a source of delight for the Android. 

"One side of the glass is coated in a very thin sparse layer of a reflective coating, whilst the other side is not. The coating has to be very thin, or else you wouldn't be able to see through on the other side, but the lighting on both sides is actually what creates the desired effect; this room is brightly lit, allowing the light to bounce off of the reflective material, preventing this side from seeing through, while the other side is very dimly lit, with no light reflecting back at them on the surface, any person standing on that side would be able to see right through," Connor said, he watched your reaction closely. 

You hummed in thought, still looking at your reflection. "So if we turned the lights off in here, we'd be able to see through to the other side?" you asked.

"Correct," he answered.

You turned around, "Can we..?"

Connor grinned and left his chair, he opened the door by placing his hand on a scanner next to it which made the artificial skin on his hand melt away. He was out of the room for only a few seconds, but after a moment the lights were off, and the Android rejoined you in the room. 

It was such a strange thing to see, one moment you were seeing your own reflection, and the next you saw a completely different empty room. You couldn't hold back the look of pure fascination that painted your face. You were about to say something else when you glanced back and noticed Connor smiling. You backed away from the glass and turned around, facing the Android with a new forced scowl. "Yeah that's cool and all, but I coulda' found that out on Google,"

Connor tilted his head slightly, "Yet you asked me instead," a tone of smugness emanated from him.

You scoffed at him, "How much longer do I have to stay here anyway? I still have no idea what my charges are or anything," you said.

"You're being charged with a minor misdemeanor. You're free to go today, but this will be on your record. Next time you won't get off so easily," Connor said sternly. He placed his hand back on the screen behind him and the door opened, he gestured towards the outside. You were already out of the door when Connor started speaking and you stopped to listen, but you didn't turn around to face him. "Remember Valorie, your life is fixable. I think you're capable of achieving great things, don't sell yourself short," he said.

"You think that because you don't know me," you snorted and continued walking down the hall, you made a beeline for the exit.

* * *

Connor walked back to his desk, you were still in sight when he took his seat. He sighed and crossed his arms.

"So? How'd it go?" Hank questioned him.

"She's very determined to be unhappy, I think," Connor said.

"How so?" Hank asked, also crossing his arms.

"I offered her help with her current situation, but she said she didn't want it and she was angry that I took her choice away yesterday. She seemed distressed when I tried asking her about her parents," Connor said this as he leaned forward. 

"But she asked me about the two-way mirror in the interrogation room, she seemed fascinated about it when I explained how it worked. She tried to play it off afterward and acted hostile again, it seems like she won't allow herself to enjoy things," he said, confused.

Hank looked at the clock ticking on his desk while he thought about that Connor said.

"She reminds me of you, Lieutenant," Connor stated.

"Oh yeah? How's that?" Hank couldn't help but ask, even though he knew the answer would probably annoy him.

"Suicidal tendencies, open hostility towards Androids, refusing help and being grumpy-" Hank interrupted him, "Alright alright I get it," He held up a hand in a way that screamed 'stop talking'.

Connor thought for a moment before saying "I don't think the wellness check I requested has been carried out, either,"

"Probably not," Hank said.

"Why is that?" Connor asked.

"Not enough officers, probably. I don't fuckin’ know, I'm not Fowler, why don't you ask him?" Hank said and regretted it immediately when Connor stood up, but he didn't regret it enough to tell Connor that's probably not a good idea.

Connor knocked on captain Fowler's door, it was about 30 seconds before Fowler waved to him and Connor let himself inside.

"Is it important?" Fowler said.

"I think so," Connor replied.

Fowler stilled for a moment and looked up, spinning his chair away from the computer on his desk.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I requested a wellness check for a young lady yesterday, and I'm under the impression that no one's been out to see her," Connor said.

"Tell you what, why don't you and Hank go out to do the wellness check when you get some free time today?" Fowler suggested to him in a way that was probably more of an order.

"I don't think Hank would appreciate that very much," Connor said.

"Hah! That grumpy bastard doesn't appreciate anything, is that all you wanted to talk to me about?" Fowler looked at the Android impatiently.

"That's it," Connor said.

"Well alright then. Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Connor," Fowler pointed towards the door, but his expression told Connor it wasn't supposed to be hostile. "Thank you, captain." Connor smiled at him as he left the room and walked back over to Hank’s desk.

"So? What'd he say?" Hank asked the Android when he returned.

"We've been assigned the wellness check, he said we can do it sometime today," Connor said cheerily. Hank rolled his eyes and groaned.

"Fuckin' aye, course we are."

Connor smiled and looked at his terminal, "We'll have to do it later though, we have a scene we need to investigate, Lieutenant," Connor's face fell back into seriousness.

Hank rose from his seat and said "Lead the way, you can fill me in in the car,"

Hank clutched his steering wheel as he listened to Connor.

"A deceased male was found in his home after a neighbor called in, worried because she hadn't seen him leave his house in several days. He's currently unidentified, but there's an Android at the scene. Apparently they were found sitting in front of the body, fully operational, but refusing to talk or move," Connor explained.

"Jesus, do you think they're involved?" Hank asked as he made the turn into an upper-class neighborhood. "I'm not sure. But I can probe it's memory when we arrive if it still won't talk," Connor said.

"It?" Hank echoed, surprised at Connors use of words.

"I don't know the gender of the Android, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be offensive," Connor explained.

"Right. You had me worried for a second," Hank said as he breathed a small sigh of relief.

The two arrived at the crime scene shortly afterward, there was already digital police tape surrounding the entirety of the house and a few police cars were already parked in the area.

Connor observed that the house was quite expensive looking, it had a rather large and well cared for garden in the front yard, a large garage was attached to the side of the building, the walls were white and the roof was a dark charcoal grey. It had a second story, and there was a balcony above the front door that adorned a large barbecue and lawn chairs. He noted that the victim was wealthy.

Inside the house, evidence markers were already scattered about and there were a few officers walking around and taking photos. Connor went straight to the body, where the Android was still sitting. It was a female WR-400 model, she was wearing some high cuffed jeans and a modest yellow frilly blouse, she wasn't wearing any shoes and her face was stained with tears. 

Connor decided to look around the house for a bit before he questioned the Android, she didn't seem dangerous so he thought it would be okay to leave her there for a few more minutes. He walked around the first floor, intentionally not investigating the body just yet because he didn't want to hinder his chances of getting the WR400 to talk.

There were obvious signs of a struggle and a break-in, multiple footprints on the ground told Connor there were 3 attackers. He headed upstairs, he was unable to find anything in the bathroom, but the master bedroom held some clues. 

There was a giant makeup desk sitting against the right wall, it was very neat and the top part of the desk had been recently cleaned. He saw a framed picture, upon closer inspection, he discovered it was of the WR400 and the deceased victim, the picture was taken at a local park, the Android was giving him 'bunny ears' and they were both grinning from ear to ear.

//This Android was close to the victim.

He then looked towards the bed. It was a queen size, he scanned the mattress and found imprints of the victim and the Android. The victim had slept on the right side, whilst the imprints indicated the WR400 slept on the left side.

//The Android and the victim were a couple?

There were bedside tables on either side of the bed, Connor first inspected the Androids side. Only a lamp was displayed on it, but in the top drawer he found a Christmas card that read:

'To Oliver and Charlotte, Merry Christmas you two! Sorry we couldn't make it this year, David has been so busy with work it's unreal, but we're still planning that trip in 2 months, we look forward to seeing you!

From David, Victoria and Fluffybuns'

There was a small paw print created with green paint underneath, he determined it to be from a British shorthair cat.

//The Androids name is Charlotte.

Connor looked around the room for a minute longer, but nothing else seemed useful to him. He returned to the first floor of the house, where he kneeled down in front of the WR400, Charlotte.

"Hello Charlotte, my name is Connor, I'm a detective with the Detroit police," he said.

Charlotte didn't respond at all, she just cried meekly and stared at the body he believed to be Oliver.

"I understand this is very difficult for you, but if you can't talk to me then I'll have to probe your memory," he said, frowning slightly.

Charlotte finally looked at him, she held her hand out and said: "Go ahead." The skin on her hand was already disappearing.

"We'll find out who did this." Connor held the Androids hand and was flung into her memory, unfortunately for him all it did was rule her out as a suspect. 

He saw her enter the house, find the body and collapse in front of it, she wailed out and repeated his name over and over. She didn't move from that position for over a week, until the police showed up and she raised her hand for Connor to probe her memory.

Connor was ripped from the memory, he stood up slowly and waved Hank over.

"Find anything kid?" he asked.

The two walked a few meters away from the body so that Charlotte wouldn't be within earshot.

"All I've been able to discover is that this Android had nothing to do with the crime as far as I can tell, I think she'd been in a relationship with the victim, she's in emotional shock right now and should be detained for her own safety," Connor glanced down at the Android, "Her name is Charlotte."

Once some officers helped Charlotte get to her feet, she made no attempt at a struggle and went with them calmly back to the police station.

Connor scanned the body, he had been stabbed 20 times in the chest, 7 of which punctured his heart directly, so he would've died fairly quickly at least, but other than that there wasn't any other evidence on the body, no fingerprints. The only lead they had right now, were the footprints.

"Lieutenant, I think our best course of action would be to use our knowledge of the footwear they were wearing to track them down, this isn't a professional's work, but they did a good job at leaving minimal evidence behind," Connor said.

"Yeah, good idea. Let's head back to the office so we can file a report," Hank said. 

* * *

Back at the station, the two men rattled their brains trying to piece everything together, but so far they'd had no luck figuring much out. The footprints Connor had identified had come from some very popular work boots, there were thousands of them in circulation. It was whittled down to only a few thousand based on the shoe size, it still wasn't very helpful.

"Hey Connor, could you make me some coffee? This case is making my fuckin’ head hurt," Hank grumbled under his breath. 

"Sure thing Hank, it's probably a good time for us to take a break anyway, we should cross-reference this with other homicides in the area when we come back," Connor gave the man a sympathetic smile and walked into the break room, performing the daily ritual of preparing a coffee for Hank. He sat at the table inside while he waited, only to be greeted with the unpleasant sight of Gavin Reed in the doorway.

"Tin can," Gavin nodded at the Android sarcastically and opened the fridge, he pulled out a sandwich. Connor rolled his eyes without responding. Gavin stared at him for a moment before he sat down in front of him at the table. "Evening' tin can," he said a little louder this time.

Connor sighed under his breath and looked up at the man, "That's not my name," he said.

Gavin looked mildly surprised, "It's called a nickname," he said.

"I know you only call me that because you dislike me, other than me being an Android, do you have any other reason for disliking me so much?" Connor asked the man deadpan, he then heard the tick from the coffee machine and stood up to collect the fresh brew.

Gavin just crossed his arms, Connor thought he looked like a child who'd just been called out.

"There's no need to feel inadequate, Gavin. Even if I am better than you at every task you could imagine," Connor winked at Gavin and started to walk out of the room.

"No need to be a fuckin' prick," Gavin called out after him, "Plastic fuckin' prick," he finished under his breath.

"Was that asshole givin' you shit again?" Hank asked Connor after he'd put the coffee down on his desk.

Connor smirked, "Nothing I can't take care of myself, Lieutenant. I think he feels inadequate," he laughed.

"Yeah he's always been like that, good word to describe him aye," Hank laughed with him.

"We should probably do that wellness check soon anyway, I'd like to do it before we run out of time today," Connor said, Hank nodded in response. 

"As soon as I finish this coffee we'll be on our way,"

Connor smiled and threaded his fingers together on his desk, he wondered how it was going to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm so happy with the amount of responses on the last chapter, you guys are the best! The interaction between !reader and Connor will be becoming more and more frequent, so thanks for sticking with me so far ♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱  
> As always please let me know if there's any spelling mistakes or grammar issues, I don't have a beta reader so a lot of stuff slips past
> 
> Reader: *tries to steal pain relief medicine*  
> Connor: Here, have some medicine  
> Reader: >:O
> 
> Edit: 21st Jan 2020: Fixed some grammatical errors :D  
> Edit: 15th April 2020: TIME TO FIX MY GRAMMAR


	7. The Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Knock Knock*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long with this update, a hurricane took out some power-lines near my house and I didn't have power for over two days, then when it finally came back it went out again shortly after (ಥ_ʖಥ)
> 
> But the power is back now and I can write at a decent speed again :D I hope you enjoy this chapter!

After arriving back at home, you had paced around the apartment for almost an hour, looking for anything to distract you, you choked down cigarettes at your window every few minutes. 

The stress of everything that was happening was eating away at you from the inside, you felt like you'd put yourself in a position with very limited options. It was late in the afternoon, a light orange hue filled the sky and pink laced its way through the clouds. 

The papers that Kara had stacked neatly on your coffee table were now laid out and reorganized, there were a lot of useless documents that you had debated throwing away, but the ones you were looking at were your rent papers. It was due in a few days, and you didn't have the money, you also didn't want to ask for help because you'd put yourself in that position by not going to work.

You had stopped to kneel in front of the table, a bead of sweat formed on your forehead as you glanced at the documents. Every time you started to calm yourself down, you read through them again and the reality of being evicted sunk in a little deeper each time.

After a few minutes of staring at the reality on the coffee table, a firm knock at the door jolted you from your thoughts and made you jump, you fell backward and hit your head on the couch, "Ow ow ow," you cringed under your breath. 

The knock at the door came again.

"One second!" you called out, quickly grabbing the papers and shoving them in the small drawer under the table.

You opened the door whilst rubbing the stinging bump on your forehead and saw Connor, the Android you were starting to think was some sort of stalker. 

And an older disheveled looking man.

He smiled at you awkwardly and Connor nodded at you, "Hello Valorie," the Android said, "We have reason to believe that you may be unsafe, so we've been advised to perform a welfare check."

You gawked at him for a few moments before the man spoke up "Hey kid, name's Hank, do you mind if we come in? We'll try not to take up too much of your time" he said.

You looked back and forth between Connor and Hank for a few seconds "Um, sure, come in," you said reluctantly, you turned your back to them and walked back into the house, you took a seat on the couch. The two followed you in and made their way over to the couch, they didn't sit down, but they hovered above you. Connor was looking around, his hands were intertwined behind his back.

"Alright kid, I'm not gonna beat around the bush, okay? You tried to kill yourself recently, and there's concern that you'll try it again, people are worried about you," Hank said with a fatherly tone of concern, he looked at Connor as if he was asking him to step in.

"Are you planning to try to commit suicide again?" the Android asked with a neutral expression and unwavering eye contact. The bluntness of his question caught you off guard. "Uhhhh not right now, no."

"You saying you might try again in the future?" Hank cut in and asked.

You felt extremely flustered, your personal space felt like it was being violated, who did Connor think he was coming into your home to ask you things like this?

"No I'm not saying that," you said dismissively. 

You were fidgeting and your toes dug into the carpet. Connor flashed a quick smile and presented a plastic bag you hadn't noticed earlier, he held it out to you, and after a short awkward silence, you reluctantly retrieved it from him. 

Peering inside the bag, you saw a few boxes of painkillers, headache medication, and a small but varied collection of fruits. The small gift made your face drop and your bones felt like pudding, your bottom lip quivered slightly. You wiped a hand over your eyes and tried to compose yourself, "T-Thank you, you didn't have to do this," you said.

"It's my pleasure, Valorie," Connor said as he smiled warmly.

You flashed a weak smile back and placed the plastic bag on the coffee table in front of you.

There was a brief awkward silence, you tapped your fingers on your knee and glanced around the room before your vision landed on the window. 

“I’m gonna have a cigarette if you guys don’t mind,” you said, you rose from the couch and sat down on a kitchen chair you’d already placed in front of the window, opening the window 1⁄4 of the way and removing a cigarette from the pack on the windowsill. 

You sighed very lightly when you saw you only had 6 left. The stick sat in your mouth in the same way that an old-timey farmer would have a single strand of hay in his lips, you covered the end of the cigarette with your faulty arm to stop the chilly breeze coming through the window from putting the small flame of your lighter out, and after a deep inhale it was lit.

Connor walked over to you with Hank not far behind, he straightened his tie with a perplexed expression, his pupils were trained on you.

“I find it to be rather improbable that you don’t know the risks associated with smoking,” he said, but it almost sounded as if it were more to himself then to you. 

You looked up at him and blew smoke out the side of your mouth, shooting it out the window, “Everyone knows it’s bad for you,” you said.

“Why do it then?” Connor asked, he let his fingers join each other behind his back and tilted his head slightly.

“I don’t really know. I just do it,” you said, you twirled the stick between your thumb and your index finger and then brought it up to your mouth once more.

“Um, is there anything else you guys need to ask me? I was actually about to have a shower,” you asked. 

Hank looked at Connor and ran a hand through his own hair, exhaling sharply through his nose. Connor reached into a pocket on the inside of his jacket and pulled out a card, it was a generic Detroit Police Force business card, but on the back, Connor had written a mobile number and his own name in absolute perfect handwriting. 

He held it out to you with a sympathetic smile and said “If you ever need help with anything, don’t hesitate to contact me,” he said. You looked at the card, and back up to Connor, a look of suspicion coated your features and you took the card with a slow moving arm. You flipped the card over, quickly reading over everything that was on it. 

“Um, why are you doing this for me?” you asked as you placed the card in your pocket cautiously.

Connor thought over his answer for only a few seconds before answering, “I see someone who’s lost. I have a strong urge to help you,” he said. You held eye contact with him for a fleeting moment before you looked away and took a short hurried drag of the cigarette, your cheeks felt flushed under his intense gaze.

Connor blinked once and then looked around your apartment robotically, it seemed as if he was scanning every surface in your home. You finished your cigarette rather quickly and closed the window, but your gaze stayed glued to the glass showing the outside world, it was a grey day. 

The color that had previously illuminated the clouds was now gone, replaced with a thick sheet of stocky clouds, the sky wasn’t visible. The snow that was falling earlier in the day had been replaced with light misty rainfall, and the snow that coated the ground was now peppered brown and grey and resembled the texture of a half-melted smoothie. The people below had their hoods flipped up and sported umbrellas, everything seemed to move at a snail's pace in this weather.

“Valorie, I suspect you haven’t eaten anything today, care to join us for a late lunch?” Connor’s voice snapped you out of your daydreaming and you whirled around sharply to face him. You processed the words he said and realized he’d asked you a question and was looking for a response.

“Ahh I’m fine, thanks,” you said. Connor frowned slightly and said “Instant noodles in a cup have almost zero nutritional value,” he said. You glanced at your kitchen, then back to Connor with slightly narrowed eyes, “How do you know that?” you asked.

“Well I’m able to scan food items and determine the nutritional value-” Connor started before you cut him off, “No no! I meant how did you know that’s what’s in my cupboard?” You pointed a finger at him accusingly and narrowed your eyes even more. 

Connor tilted his head slightly, a habit you had noticed he took part in whenever he was confused or realized he’d done something considered socially inappropriate, “I’m sorry Valorie, I was built as a detective Android, being aware of everything around me and having an eye for detail is part of who I am,” he said with a somewhat apologetic tone.

“Ugh.” You huffed and turned your head away from the Android, a slight pout slipping onto your lips.

“C’mon kid, he’s right. Let’s go, It’s my shout,” Hank spoke up and nodded his head slightly, gesturing towards the door.

You felt like you didn’t really have much of a choice in this instance. You groaned ever so slightly and rose from your chair. You grabbed your room key from the kitchen bench and walked out into the hallway, “Let’s go then.” You called out to the men with an irritated huff. 

The two joined you out in the hallway, Connor closed your door behind him and looked quite pleased with the turn of events, Hank seemed to be rather indifferent. As the three of you walked down the hall and into the elevator, you kept as much distance as possible and held a cold composure. In the elevator you looked up at the ceiling and avoided making eye contact with either of them.

“I know a really good place, you’ll love it-” Hank started but Connor spoke up immediately to cut him off, “We’re not going there,” he stated. 

Hank opened his mouth slightly as if he was going to protest but then he sighed defeatedly. “Alright then smartass, where should we go then?” Hank asked. Connor thought for a moment. “There’s a place about a 10-minute drive from here, it’s called ‘Lucky Stars’, it serves Vietnamese food and according to the reviews, is quite healthy and filling,” Connor said. Hank gave him a side-eyed glance but didn’t argue, “Alright. But you’re driving,” he said. 

The walk into the lobby was filled with light-hearted bickering between Hank and Connor, they were arguing about something called ‘Chicken Feed’, Hank was trying to convince Connor that the food there isn’t bad at all, but Connor kept bringing up the sanitary violations of the owner and the incredibly salty food they sold there. 

You were glad you weren’t going to that place if what Connor was saying was correct though. Once you got to the car, you settled into the seat behind Hank in the passenger seat. Connor started the car and the stereo blasted on at an egregiously loud volume, Connor quickly turned the volume knob down and the music was only a whisper then, but even the brief moment of loud volume had your head spinning.

Connor pulled out of the park and you were soon on the road, his driving was perfect, but you’d expected that from any Android so you weren’t all that impressed by it.

The ride was quiet for all but two minutes. “So Valorie, what kind of music do you like to listen to?” Connor asked as he glanced at you through the rearview mirror. You quickly looked away, “Sadcore,” you said. 

Connor tsk’d and frowned, “That doesn’t sound very conducive for a positive attitude,” Connor scolded. 

“I listen to other stuff too, that was just the first genre that came to mind,” you retorted defensively.

“Connor, climb down out of her ass will ya’? Jesus,” Hank batted Connor lightly on the arm. 

The sudden bluntness of Hanks' expletives caught you off guard and made a chuckle escape your lips, but you silenced it quickly and slapped a hand over your mouth. Connor saw your hushed giggle and smiled to himself, Hank didn’t seem to notice though. A default frown painted your face once again, and you looked out the window. The rest of the ride was silent aside from the faint heavy metal leaking from the speakers.

Connor pulled up to the restaurant and performed a perfect parallel reverse park. You exited the vehicle after the other two were already stepping out onto the concrete, you looked around and rubbed your arm lightly as some sort of self-soothing mechanism.

_ ‘It’s just lunch. This’ll be quick,’  _ you reassured yourself.

The three of you entered the restaurant and you heard a jingle as the door opened. You looked around the place, the walls sported dark red paint and sporadic pink flower murals, the floor was a dark brown polished wood. It seemed somewhat small inside, but there were fancy looking tables and chairs lined up towards the back of the building.

A short lady waved at your group from behind the counter, the menu was displayed on a giant sign above the counter, holographic images popped out slightly in front of it. You studied the menu briefly, but your eye got caught on the glass display case, inside were various desserts that looked meticulous. 

You found yourself staring at a very appetizing looking slice of cake, it was a mossy green color and it had lime colored glazed icing coating it, 3 slices of strawberries and a dob of cream finished the top. There was a label in front of it that read ‘Green Tea Matcha Cake’, you almost had to wipe the drool from your mouth, but you caught yourself and let your gaze wander back over to the menu. 

You were so busy looking at the dessert that you didn’t even realize Hank had finished ordering and was waiting on you, the sudden anxiety of ordering something that was too expensive fell over you, Hank was buying a meal for you and you wanted him to spend as little as possible.

“Just a small pho vegetable soup, please,” you squeaked. The pitch of your voice made your face heat from embarrassment, and for the umpteenth time that day, you found yourself flustered as your cheeks heated. You froze up and walked outside into the cold air, you hoped it would cool down your clammy skin.

“Well, I guess we’re eating outside then,” You heard Hank say before the door opened again and the bell chimed, you felt like the bell was mocking you. You hurried to one of the outside tables and sat down.

_ ‘Fuck. They probably think I’m an idiot,’  _ you scolded yourself internally.

You reached into your pocket out of habit to pluck out a cigarette, but you suddenly remembered the amount you had left and decided against it, you let your hand fall out of your pocket and hang by your side.

Connor took his seat directly across from you, again with the perfect posture. Hank dragged a chair over from a nearby table and placed a table number on the surface, he grunted and sat down. His posture was terrible and his back slouched, you wondered how Hank and Connor could be seemingly such close friends, they were polar opposites. Connor smiled warmly at you and the feeling it gave you made you backtrack into your pocket and pull out a cigarette.

_ ‘Stupid Android. Don’t look at me like that.’ _

You hastily lit the stick in your mouth.

“How did you start smoking, Valorie?” Connor asked you, but it felt more like he was prodding.

“Ugh. Can’t we talk about something other than my life choices?” you complained and flicked the ash of the cigarette aggressively. 

“What did you have in mind?” Connor asked. 

His compliance irritated you, everything he said was irritating you. You didn’t even really know why.

“Like…” You thought for a moment, looking between the two men. “Like how are you two even friends? You’re total opposites. You-” You pointed at Connor with the two fingers holding a cigarette, “-Seem to disagree with all of Hanks life choices, you even bicker about the food he eats, and you-” You pointed at hank, “-Seem annoyed just to be around him, what’s up with that?”

The two looked at each other and Hank started laughing, Connor was more reserved but he let a side smirk crawl onto his face.

“This plastic prick grows on ya, I used to hate him. But he’s kind of endearing, don’t worry, he’ll grow on you too,” Hank laughed. 

Scoffing, you let out a laugh of your own this time, even though the laughter was at Connor’s expense, he didn’t seem to mind at all.

“You mustn't have hated him that much,” you giggled.

“Hank held a gun to my head and threatened to kill me once, I can assure you he’s not over-exaggerating when he says he hated me,” Connor said with a soft smile, you and Hank both stopped laughing and gawked at him.

“N-no way,” you choked out.

“Yes way.” Connor replied, still smiling slightly.

“Seriously…” you muttered and leaned back in your chair.

Before the silence became too awkward, the lady who took your order pushed her way through the door with a tray holding two bowls filled with food and a jug of water.

Before she arrived at the table you snuffed out your cigarette on the ground, she walked over and propped the meals down at their appropriate spot on the table. She gave both you and hank glasses and poured them full of water.

“Thank you,” you smiled at the woman, “Thanks,” Hank also thanked her.

The meal was quiet, it would’ve been awkward, but it was only silent because the food was really good. You ate a little faster than you would’ve liked to admit, you even drank the remaining soup straight from the bowl when you were done, it was a welcomed change from the cup ramen you ate on the regular. 

Hank finished his meal fairly quickly too, but you suspected the speed at which he was eating wasn’t unusual for him.

You thought that would be it, you were expecting to head back to the car at any second, but the waitress came back through the door with a huge smile plastered on her face. She was holding a small plate and a silver spoon wrapped in a serviette, and sat in the middle of the plate, was that same matcha cake you were drooling over earlier.

You thought Hank must’ve ordered one for himself and prepared yourself to try and ignore him eating the dessert you were eyeing up, but you were surprised when she placed the plate in front of you instead of Hank. 

You picked up the plate and started pushing it towards Hank, “Seems like there was some sort of mistake, sorry,” you said as you watched the delicious looking cake move further away from you. Hank shook his head and pushed the plate back, “It’s for you, thank him,” he said and pointed towards Connor with his thumb.

Your head shot up towards Hank, and before you could even think of something to say, Connor was speaking, “I saw you looking at this before,” he said. 

Your eyes widened slightly and your vision shifted to Connor, “I apologize if you didn’t actually want one, I can send it back if you like-” You cut Connor off immediately and pulled the plate towards yourself protectively, still at a loss for words. This seemed to satisfy the Android, he smiled at you warmly.

The first bite felt like heaven, the cake was spongy and melted against your tongue, the cream and strawberries complemented the unique flavor of the matcha perfectly, you felt yourself squee in delight as you brought a lightly balled fist holding the silver spoon to your face.

“It’s... It’s so good!” Your face lit up as the flavor hit your taste buds.

You completely lost the cold composure you held for so long, and you happily dug into the rest of the cake. 

You finished it much quicker than you would’ve liked, and you even found yourself scraping the remnants from the plate with your spoon. Without thinking at all, you beamed brightly at Connor from across the table and thanked him genuinely.

It was the best cake you’d ever eaten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never actually had Matcha cake before.
> 
> Edit: 15th April 2020: Grammatical fixes


	8. Alleyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thank you to everyone over on the r/fanfiction discord, you guys are the freakin best <3

You were laying in bed, wide awake, and you had the blankets pulled over your head.

It’d been several hours since you’d gone out for lunch with Connor and Hank, the humiliating fiasco you pulled weighed heavy on your mind and you had done everything you could think of to stop yourself from replaying it in your mind. 

It was 11:44 pm, your ears were ringing loudly and your head was spinning because you were blasting music at 100% through a deceptively loud portable speaker sitting on your bedside table. 

To be more specific, you were playing the same song, 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins, over and over again on repeat, it had played at least 50 times already, but that was just your rough estimate. 

**_♪Double cross the vacant and the bored♪_ **

The lyrics burrowed into your skull as you stared vacantly into the blankets that encased you. 

**_♪They're not sure just what we have in the store♪_ **

You were clinging onto your sheets with your working hand, your knuckles turned white with the force you were gripping them at.

**_♪Morphine city slippin' dues, down to see♪_ ** ****

You were still wearing your jacket, you hadn’t worked up the motivation to take it off since you’d buried yourself in bed, but it was really starting to get uncomfortable, tough fabric dug into your skin and made it itch. 

You threw the blankets off of yourself and sat upright with your feet dangling over the side, you ripped your jacket off, you did so accidentally using both hands and when you realized what you’d done and that it didn’t really hurt, you ripped your sling off too and flexed your fingers to test how it felt. 

**_♪ We don't even care, as restless as we are♪_ **

It felt fine, so you tried moving your elbow a bit, that also didn’t hurt. Next you touched your shoulder, it was still moderately tender and was still bruised, but it felt... Fine. Mostly. 

Your eyes drifted down towards the floorboards where you’d thrown your jacket, you noticed a card sticking out of the left pocket, it was only peeking out slightly. It only took you a split-second to realize what it was. 

**_♪We feel the pull in the land of a thousand guilts♪_ **

You felt your heart burn with an angry lashing fire as you flopped down onto the floor with a thud, you snatched the card from its pocket and stared at it angrily in your hand. “I don’t need your FUCKING HELP,” you screamed, rage engulfed your voice, which barely competed with the throbbing speaker. 

**_♪And poured cement, lamented and assured♪_ **

You bounced off the floor with the card tightly gripped between your thumb and your index finger, your bare feet smacked against the floor as you stormed out of your room and into the kitchen, you flicked on the light with more force than was really necessary. 

_ ‘Who the hell does he think he is?!’  _ you thought.

“I’m not a fucking charity case, you asshole!” 

Your entire face felt hot, you could feel that the veins in your forehead were pumping more blood than usual, your heartbeat was thick in your ears. 

**_♪To the lights and towns below♪_ **

The music sounded slightly muffled since it was coming from the other room. 

You ripped open the lid of the tiny plastic trash can and threw the card Connor gave you into it, it landed with a soft pat. 

“Why the FUCK would you give me that, huh?” you spat breathlessly. 

**_♪Faster than the speed of sound♪_ **

Your breathing became shallow and fast-paced, electricity sparked in the tips of your fingers and toes, you collapsed onto the floor with wobbly legs and shoved your hand into the bin, you pushed the card down as far as you could. 

**_♪Faster than we thought we'd go, beneath the sound of hope♪_ **

Tears pricked in the corner of your eyes as they glossed over before the dam walls collapsed and you started crying with the force of someone who was uncontrollably vomiting. 

**_♪Justine never knew the rules♪_ **

You wailed out on the floor, your hands were shaking and strings of saliva were glued to your teeth. Your nose was running, you slapped your hands onto the floor with a smack and clenched your fists to try and control the shaking. 

**_♪Hung down with the freaks and the ghouls♪_ **

Your feet started moving on their own, you barely registered that you were standing up as you flung your front door open, the doorknob bashed against the wall loudly. You started running down the hallway. 

_ ‘He thinks he can just come to my place whenever he wants?’ _

Your sniffles and raspy breaths echoed softly off of the bland walls, you scurried down the stairs with a trembling hand brushing against the rail and almost tripped multiple times on your way down. 

You ran, and you burst through the front door of the building. You didn’t stop running, your feet took you down the sidewalk, the cement below scraped your feet and made them sting, but you kept running. 

_ ‘I hope I never see him again,’ _

You turned a corner further down the street and felt a crunch as your feet sunk into the snow. You kept running, the collar of your shirt was dark with salty water, you started to shiver. 

You dashed past houses and trees, there was no one outside, it was just you and your cloudy breath. 

After a minute or so, you found yourself clinging onto a safety rail protecting you from the drop off of a cliff, the snow was falling ever so lightly, it coated your hair and eyelashes. 

You peered down in front of the rail, tears fell from your chin like a dripping faucet and plummeted down below. You could see so much of the city from that spot, windows lit up the horizon like glowbugs, it was quiet. 

It was a sheer drop, looking down into the abyss you felt your feet inching forward, almost as if they wanted to jump off.

Your feet were numb, so were your hands. You clenched your teeth for a moment before looking around and fully realizing where you were. Or, did you? 

_ ‘Where am I?’ _ you thought. 

You glanced around at your surroundings, the sky was black and a thick foliage of trees swayed above you, you looked down at your hands that were still clutched to the rail. You let go and stepped back, it was late at night and you were here by yourself. Why did you come here? Where even was here? 

Taking a deep breath, you wandered over to a metal bench behind you, you sat down and dug your toes into the ice. A chilly burst of wind picked up your hair and you rubbed the back of your wrists against your face in an attempt to dry it. 

_ ‘Grow up Valorie.’ _ you thought,  _ ‘He’s just trying to be friendly.’ _

You shook your head violently and slapped your hands onto your ears, you leaned forward and pressed your forehead into your knees. 

_ ‘No no, it’s not happening again, that’s just what he wants me to think,’  _ you thought. 

Your limbs began to sting from the cold, they almost felt hot. “I need… To go back home…” you muttered to yourself through chattering teeth. 

You rose from the park bench with an uncontrollable shiver. The cold had long seeped into your bones, your previously heated skin cold and wet to the touch. 

_ ‘I need to do something about him,’ _ you thought, “I need to make him leave me alone,” you finished the thought out loud with a whisper. 

You began your snail-paced backtracking, your feet had left defined prints in the snow, so at least you wouldn’t get lost along the way easily.

The journey was taking three times longer to walk back, you’d expended all of your energy with the adrenaline-fueled run earlier, not to mention how much the cold had sedated your limbs. 

You rubbed the top of your arms in a feeble attempt to warm yourself up, the wind was picking up and hurling snow into your body, each particle felt like a rock being pelted into your skin.

It wasn’t long before you found yourself walking down a sketchy looking alleyway littered with overflowing trash cans, you didn’t remember walking down there, but your footprints led that way, so you must have come this way, right?

_ ‘I’ll text that Android and tell him to stop bothering me when I get home…’ _ you told yourself.

A subtle pattering of footsteps interrupted your thoughts and you whipped your head around to face the noise. 

Three young men stood before you, no, they were walking towards you.

_ ‘They’re just passing through, ignore them,’ _ you reassured yourself as your heart started to race and your palms became sweaty. You turned back around and started to walk much faster, eyes trained on the exit.

The footsteps behind you got faster.

You started jogging.

The footsteps got louder again, they were running.

_ ‘Shit,’ _ you thought frantically as you broke out into a full-fledged sprint. 

Only a few meters shy of the exit to this creepy side alley, a man ran straight past you, he turned on the spot in front of you and dug his heels into the ground, his sudden movement caused you to start running diagonally. 

You pictured yourself running right past him and into the main street, but a firm hand collided into your stomach as your body flopped forward with the sudden impact and you tripped over your own feet, you dove into the concrete, the rough surface scraped against your palms and knees. It stung.

You flipped around to face the man who’d tripped you over, “What the fuck man!?” you exclaimed in a panicked voice. 

The area was poorly lit, the only light that came into the alleyway was the occasional distant car headlights pouring in from the main road.

The man who’d tripped you was a well built strong-looking caucasian guy, he was wearing a hoodie but you could clearly see the muscles in his arms outlining the fabric, he had short hair, it looked like it was growing back weeks after being shaved.

You caught a glance of the other two standing behind him, you couldn’t really make out any of their features other than that one was very thin and the other was chubby. 

The muscly guy who’d tripped you looked down on you with an expression that seemed to be a cross between disgust and amusement. 

Panic swelled in your stomach and your throat started to feel tight, “W-What are you going to do to me?” you asked meekly, voice quivering.

He squatted down in front of you and pulled out a polaroid photo from a pocket in his sweatpants, he shoved the picture in your face. Your eyes took a second to adjust due to the darkness, but there was no mistaking who it was in the photo. 

It was a photo of you sitting with Connor and Hank at the restaurant from earlier, you had a beaming smile on your face and a half-eaten slice of cake in front of you.

“That’s...” you stammered, eyes glued to the image. The man pulled the photo away and folded it neatly before sticking it back into his pocket, he had a disgusted look on his face as he sneered down at you. The conflicting memories of the day filled your head, that… You looked so happy in that photo, were you happy?

“I don’t understand—” The man cut you off by punching you directly on the nose producing a sickening crack, you fell backward, a deafening scream left your mouth, you clung onto your face and assumed the fetal position on the ground. 

Blood seeped its way through the gaps in your fingers. You immediately realized it was broken. Your entire face felt like it was burning in an unrelenting inferno.

The man grabbed you by your hair and yanked your head up from the ground, forcing you to make eye contact with him, your hands were still clutched to your face. 

“You like to get buddy-buddy with Androids, huh?” he said, he spat in your face and the revolting substance hit your eye, “You’re worse than they are.” 

His words were laced with venom. 

Your eyes shot open wide, tears were suddenly falling down your cheeks and mixing with the blood pouring from your nose.

You tried to speak up, you wanted to tell him that he had it all wrong, you hated that Android, you were forced to spend time with him, but your mouth refused to move. 

You felt something solid collide into your ribs, and before you could even properly process it, the three men were kicking you mercilessly. You shielded your face and tucked your head into your arms, you could only whimper at each new bruise they created. 

* * *

It was 10:47 PM, Connor was still at the station (against Hanks advice) because he was waiting for a potential witness with a promising lead to show up, they were on their way, but Connor became more and more impatient with every second that ticked by. 

This witness had stated that they didn’t feel comfortable saying anything over the phone, they wanted to come in person to speak with him but had to finish their shift at work first.

Even though Connor was frustrated that this person refused to leave their work early for something he considered immensely more important, Connor waited patiently. He scanned over the evidence photos, again and again, he cross-referenced case files multiple times, his coin was getting a good workout with the amount of time he spent impatiently flicking it around. 

11:05 PM

The witness arrived. It was a young disheveled looking man, he had messy unkempt copper hair with a pair of wiry glasses seated on his nose, he donned a well used brown raincoat. he introduced himself as Caleb and spoke apologizes about being so late, Connor had to be very curt with him, his patience was stick thin. 

“It’s okay, thank you for coming in,” Connor said in a rush, “just please tell me what you know.” 

Caleb sat down in the chair next to Connor’s desk and leaned his closed umbrella against it. 

“I heard about the murder that happened on the news, ah, Oliver was it?” he said. Connor nodded and looked at him expectantly.

“I overheard some guys yesterday, they were talking about how much they hated Androids,” Caleb laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head, “Nothing really seemed out of the ordinary, you know, there’s a lot of humans that hate Androids for some reason or another,” he said. 

Caleb glanced at Connors LED, he was acutely aware of the fact that he was an Android and didn’t want to offend him. 

“So, anyway. After a little while they started talking about humans that date Androids, it was uhh… pretty hateful. It could have just been my ears mishearing things but, I swear I heard one of them whisper something about ‘hitting some giddy Android loving bitch next’, another guy quieted him down and told him not to talk about that in public,” he stopped for a moment, “Sorry about the language, their words not mine.” he clarified. 

Connors LED spun red and yellow for a brief moment, if you weren’t paying attention it would’ve been easy to miss. 

Humans killing other humans over Android relationships? The case of Oliver flashed in his mind and it started to make complete sense, he hadn’t been able to find any sort of motive, but he was seemingly in a relationship with an Android. To Connors dismay, it made… perfect sense.

“I snapped a photo of one of the guys before they left,” Caleb fumbled around in his jacket pocket for a few seconds before pulling out his phone. He unlocked it with the fingerprint scanner and brought up an image, he turned the screen around to show Connor. 

  
  


//scanning… 

//results: 

Mathew, Curtis

Born: 05/06/2002 // Maintenance Plumber (c

Criminal Record: Domestic Abuse, Driving under the influence

  
  


“You’re sure this is one of them?” Connor asked. 

“I’m one-hundred percent sure,” Caleb responded with a tone of seriousness. 

Caleb stayed at the station for only a few more minutes whilst Connor had him fill out a witness statement, he was looking into this ‘Mathew’ fellow the entire time though and he easily was able to find out where he lived. 

As soon as Caleb left, Connor was already on his way to find this man, he was planning on tailing him to see if he could get any evidence of criminal activity. He dropped by his own apartment briefly to change his clothes into something a little more inconspicuous, he quickly shed his ‘RK800’ jacket and placed it on the coat rack by the door, he then pulled a baggy turtleneck shirt over the button-up shirt he had on, completely covering it. On the way out he grabbed a beanie that was resting on the coat rack, he slid it onto his head and let it hide his LED. He was only in his apartment for thirty seconds, he was efficient.

Connor parked his car two streets away from Mathew’s house to avoid suspicion. He walked down the side streets and hid in an alleyway next to Mathews house, remaining unnoticed. 

He stayed there for a few minutes, unmoving and still. 

It didn’t take long for Mathew to exit the house with a few other men, and immediately Connor noticed that the boots he was wearing were the exact same ones from the crime scene footprints. 

He flattened himself against the wall and his LED whirred yellow under his beanie, it was him. 

There were five men, they split into groups of two and three and went separate ways— Connor opted to follow the group of two because that was the one Mathew was in, he had a sinking feeling in his abdomen. 

Connor followed them for twenty or so odd minutes, they walked down the street and didn’t talk about anything of particular interest until Mathew said something that made his thirium pump skip a beat. 

“I wonder if they ended up finding her, I tried calling Kyle but he didn’t answer,” he said. 

“If he didn’t pick up there’s probably a reason for it! I bet they found her, good riddance,” the other replied with a devious grin.

_ ‘Shit,’  _ Connor thought frantically,  _ ‘I followed the wrong ones!’ _

And just like that, he was sprinting in the opposite direction, he was determined to find those men before they found this mystery girl they spoke of. 

* * *

You writhed around in agony on the filthy concrete, another shoe collided into your head and you screamed out. 

“P-Please stop!” you cried, voice gurgled because your mouth was filled with blood. 

You heard laughing but you couldn’t make out any words they spoke, the world was spinning. 

You couldn’t see, your vision was filled with dancing black balls of light. 

You tried to crawl, but your arms were flimsy and you were only able to drag yourself a few centimeters away. 

_ ‘Ahh. This must be my punishment,’ _ you thought to yourself, clenching your eyes shut tightly as your violently quivering arms reached forward in an attempt to drag yourself away.

“Detroit police! Put your hands up, now!” A strong voice echoed through the alleyway and you held your breath, did you imagine that? You heard multiple footsteps banging loudly, they grew distant. 

* * *

Connor pointed his gun towards three men who were kicking a bloodied up girl on the ground. 

One of them grew a horrified expression and made a break for it, Connor considered chasing him but he decided that the girl on the ground was his highest priority. 

The other two men must have seen Connor's hesitation because they also started to run, Connor looked between the running men and the bloody body on the ground. 

“Shit!” Connor hissed through his teeth as he turned his face away from the escaping criminals and onto you. He ran over to your body whilst he enabled the safety of his gun and shoved it into its holster. 

He rushed to your body and rolled it over, he stopped for a moment. It was you. He hadn’t recognized it was you laying on the ground, covered in blood.

//Check her pulse 

//Take her to a hospital 

//Make sure she’s conscious 

//Protect Valorie 

Self-imposed commands flashed in his visual processors, he quickly slipped his hand under your head and pressed a finger to your neck to check for a pulse. 

Your heart was beating. Blood was splattered all over your face, Connor ripped off his beanie and used it to wipe away the blood on your face. 

Your eyes opened slowly and you blinked repeatedly with heavy-lidded eyes, they slowly rose towards his face and you made eye contact with him. 

“C-Connor…?” you mumbled through a bloody mouth.

Connor scanned over every inch of you, he decided the broken nose was his highest priority, luckily for him, it was something he knew he could easily fix. 

“Don’t try to speak, okay? Everything will be alright,” Connor thought for a moment, what was his best course of action here? He could quickly pop it back into place and get it over quickly, or he could warn you and give you time to prepare. 

He froze for a second. 

He elected to do it quickly, without warning, his hand pressed into your nose, with a quick movement using his thumb and index finger he pushed the cartilage back into place. The scream that poured out of your mouth was shrill and made him feel extremely guilty, but he knew it was for your own good.

“I’m sorry that I had to do that to you, Valorie,” Connor apologized, he slid his hands under the top of your back and under your knees, he picked you up bridal style. 

“It’s… It’s your fault…” you murmured before quickly falling unconscious. 

Connors LED spun crimson as he looked down at your bruised and bloody face, guilt riddled his features. 

  
  


//New mission

//Stop making Valorie uncomfortable

//Leave Valorie alone?

//Make sure Valorie is safe

//Protect Valorie? 

  
  


Conflicting commands fluttered and glitched before him, but he quickly shut them out and prioritized the most important one. 

  
  


//Make sure Valorie is safe

  
  


He cradled your body as he ran back to his car. 

_ ‘This really is my fault,’  _ he thought,  _ ‘If she wasn’t seen with me this would never have happened.’  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, this chapter was a wild ride for me to write, I miiiight come back and edit a few things but overall I'm happy with it :D 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone reading my fic! I never expected this to get over 500 hits less than a month after I posted the first chapter, you guys are so amazing <3 The comments you guys leave really keep me motivated to write more!
> 
> Edit: 15th April 2020: I did end up returning to edit the shit out of this one :^)


	9. Hospital Smell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6th February: Currently on temporary hiatus, I won't start posting again until I have the next few chapters done so I can make sure I keep a good update schedule! Thanks for reading :)
> 
> 15th April: We off hiatus guys and gals! I know most people would just delete the original note about the hiatus, but I really like to keep EN's ;)

You woke to the strong smell of sterility and antiseptic assaulting your nose. You glanced around the room you were in with squinting eyes, the bright light burned into your retinas. 

Your face felt like it was on fire and the back of your head was swollen and bruised. It throbbed uncomfortably. 

You quickly realized you were in a bed, blankets tucked neatly around your body. 

You knew you were in a hospital, you figured that much. But you couldn’t remember why you were there. You could hazily recall an alleyway, but that was all you could remember. 

You let your hand slide around on the mattress, feeling for the nurse call button, and once you’d located it, you clicked it immediately. Only a few seconds later a pretty blonde nurse waltzed through the doors with a clipboard lightly clasped in her hands. 

“Hello Valorie, my name is Emily, how are you feeling?” she said as she walked up towards the end of your bed. 

“I’m… My head hurts like hell, what happened?” you asked. 

Emily tilted her head slightly and wrote something on her board, “Do you not remember?” she asked with a frown. 

You thought really hard for a moment, as if you were trying to will the memory into your brain. You shook your head, “No, I don’t remember,” you said. “What happened?” you repeated.

Emily pursed her lips together and looked at you sympathetically. “You were jumped by a group of thugs, they beat you up pretty bad— but you don’t have any super severe injuries, the worst of it was a broken nose, but an officer on the scene was able to fix that on site,” she said. “They must have hit your head pretty bad though if you’re having some memory loss issues,” she muttered the last part more to herself than to you and scribbled something else on the clipboard. 

“What!? I was jumped? But why? Who? Did I do something?” You were frantic as you blurted out question after question. 

Emily smiled at you but it didn’t quite reach her eyes, “From what I heard you were targeted because of your relationship with an Android. I’m sorry, but that’s all I know,” she said. 

You frowned. Relationship? What was she talking about? 

Emily started to walk out of the room, when she got to the doorframe she turned her head towards you, “Be sure to press that button again if you need anything at all!” And then she was gone. 

You forced your head further into the pillow. Relationship with an Android? Surely you hadn’t gone and gotten yourself into a relationship, you couldn’t remember anything, it was… 

Connor. 

Images of the Android’s distressed face peering down at you flashed into your mind. He looked so guilty, he looked scared.

“What?” you echoed out loud as your pupils constricted slightly, you rubbed your hands over your eyes and only flinched slightly at the pain that shot up from your nose, “Ow ow ow,”. Without much thought, you slammed your entire hand against the nurse call button. After only a few seconds, Emily entered the room again, worry shot across her face when she noticed your panicked expression. “What’s wrong?” she asked as she darted across the room to be next to you. 

The constant beeping from all around the building bore into your ears, murmurs from visiting family members and talk of bizarre medical terms you couldn’t even begin to understand echoed from the hallway.

The whole room felt as if it was spinning and time seemed to slow down, you felt dazed for a moment, “M-my head,” you said without making eye contact, “My head really hurts can I please have some medicine for it, please?” The words tumbled out so quickly that the entire sentence turned into a garbled mess. Emily looked you over for a brief moment, “Of course. I’ll be back shortly,” she dashed out of the room with pattering feet. 

You used your hands to force yourself upright and then you pushed your back up against the headrest, you stared at the wall in front of you. The room spun around as you cursed at yourself internally,  _ ‘Why can’t I remember!’ _ .

Your breathing felt shallow and you clenched your hands into the sheets on the bed. Your fingers tightened, the soft material folded against your grip and you could almost feel your knuckles turning white. 

Emily reappeared in the doorway with a glass of water and two white pills, she handed them to you with gentle hands. You popped the pills into your mouth with a large swig of water and then you gulped them down whilst you grimaced at the unpleasant sensation from the pills trailing down your throat. Emily asked you to open your mouth so she could be sure you swallowed them, and with that you allowed yourself to relax slightly. 

Emily glanced at a watch that hugged her wrist, “I’m going to take your vitals, okay Valorie?” she said. She disappeared into the hallway for a moment, you could still see her through the window. She ducked into a closet and reappeared with a blood pressure meter and a few other things you didn’t know the use of. 

She went through the motions of checking all of your vitals, the only thing that she found troubling was your fast heart rate, but you assured her it was because your mind was racing. 

After only a few minutes, you were left alone in the small room once again with only a clip on your index finger that monitored your pulse to keep you company. 

Orange light poured in from the world outside, you were able to deduct that it was probably late in the afternoon. 

_ ‘I was, in an alleyway…’  _ you tried to force yourself to remember the events that landed you in the hospital. You weren’t having much luck, so you decided to backtrack to the last thing you remembered. 

_ ‘I was at home, and I left in a rush… I ran somewhere…’ _ you felt frustrated and huffed as the memory trailed off.  _ ‘Okay. Before that.’ _

You squeezed your eyes shut in the hopes it would aid you in remembering something. Your lips formed into a thin line on your face and you chewed on the inside of your mouth. 

_ ‘I had lunch with Hank and Connor and—’  _ your thought was interrupted as an image vividly flashed in your mind. It was a still picture, and it seemed like it was taken from far away. It was of you sitting at a table with Hank and Connor, you were smiling widely and you had a dob of icing clinging to your lips, for some reason the image made you feel an alarming amount of dread.

Your eyes flung open as that particular memory played in front of you like a movie, but your wide eyes didn’t rid the picture from your head, you gripped the blankets again to stabilize yourself.

You sat that way for a few minutes, not daring to move as the memory taunted you. Sure, the memory embarrassed you, but you had no idea why it was making you feel… fear. 

You were so scared.

You were overwhelmed, you were sweating, but the nag of exhaustion dragged your eyelids down as all the pain in your body started to dissipate. you didn’t make any effort to ward it off. Instead, you welcomed it and hoped that it would relieve you from the unpleasant feeling you were experiencing, all motivation to remember what happened to you was dead. You slowly slid down against the headrest until you were lying comfortably on your side. Your breathing slowed as you were lulled into the grip of sleep. 

* * *

Your eyes flung open and you shot upright, you were drenched in sweat even though you were cold. The clip on your finger had come off during your sleep, without thinking you flicked it off the bed with the back of your hand, it landed on the floor with a soft click. 

Blankets encased your body and were tangled around your legs, it made you feel claustrophobic and you were hyperventilating slightly as the images from your dream played out in your head. 

You saw the face of a snarling man clear as day, every slight imperfection in his features burned itself into your brain. Your vision shifted down to your hands, you clasped them together firmly in an attempt to control the shaking they were exhibiting. 

Your lip trembled lightly, you glanced around the room. It was much darker than before and instead of light pouring in from the windows, they were black and seemed to suck all of the light from the room into them. 

Terror painted your face, “I remember,” you said out loud. 

You found yourself unlinking your hands and without looking down at all to see what you were doing, you located the nurse call switch, your fingers curled around the white box and you calmly pressed your thumb into the little red button. 

You sat in silence for only a few moments before a new nurse entered the room. It wasn’t Emily, but you didn’t care to even register the new woman's appearance at all. 

She looked at you expectantly and you realized she’d asked you a question, but you hadn’t heard it. 

“I remember.” you said. 

Her eyes flicked down to a clipboard in hand for a fleeting moment, “What do you remember?” she asked with a sickeningly sweet voice. 

“I need to talk to the police,” you turned your head to finally look at the women, “Please, call them.” 

She nodded quickly and hurried out of the room. 

You wiped the sweat from your hands onto the blankets and you swallowed thickly. 

The men were beating you, you cried out in pain. You writhed around on the harsh ground and rubbed saliva from your face. You noticed your hands were covered in blood, but no matter how much you wiped it onto your shirt, it wouldn’t come off. Warm liquid dripped down the back of your head and down your neck, it heated your whole being. You were being kicked, you felt each hardened shoe collide and send shivers through your entire body, you tried to scream, but nothing came out. You tried to move, but you were stuck. It felt like you were strapped down and restrained. 

Pain seared through your body, you were starting to think that it would never end. You jolted when the attackers started to run, the pounding of their steps made the ground vibrate. 

You tried to stand up. It felt like your feet were planted on the ground, but you didn’t feel like you were actually standing anywhere. You couldn’t feel the floor beneath you and everything was fuzzy, the shadows ahead of you ran further away, but they stayed in sight without shrinking in size. 

A crimson LED flashed in front of your eyes and a pang of guilt hit you like a truck, you started speaking. 

“It’s your fault!” The LED grew dim. You saw the face it was attached to, and you screamed again, “It’s all your fault!”. Guilt burned through you as you repeated the line over and over. 

The world around you suddenly blinked away and was replaced by a white room. You brought a shivering hand to your face, you were crying. 

“Hey, hey, you alright?” a masculine voice caught you off guard and you noticed a hand gently shaking your shoulder. 

“I’m okay,” you muttered with a shaky voice, “I’m okay.” 

You turned your head to see who it was, it was a man you didn’t recognize at all. He had short messy brunette hair and the jacket he wore was brown, you could see black wool lining the inside of it. 

He reached down to unclip a badge that was clinging to his belt and held it up for you to see. 

“My name is Gavin, I’m here because I need to know what happened to you last night,” he was straight to the point and concise. 

“I was jumped,” you said, your eyes started to flicker as the memory started to replay again. Gavin shook your shoulder again, “Do you remember what they looked like?” he asked. Your eyes shot back to him, you could feel beads of sweat forming on your forehead. 

“I remember.” Images of the man spitting in your face flashed before you. “I remember exactly what he looks like.” 

Gavin hummed in thought and squinted at you, although not unkindly. “Did you know this person prior to being jumped?” he asked. You shook your head violently, “No! I have no idea who he is, and why…” you trailed off and let your eyes shoot away from him again, the constant eye contact was making you uncomfortable. 

“Do you know why you were targeted?” he asked. Your vision was once again planted on him, you noted light scars that peppered his features. 

“Connor.” you said. 

Gavin's face fell and you could’ve sworn you saw disdain flash across his face. He leaned back slightly. You took a moment to gather your thoughts before you elaborated. 

“He shoved a polaroid photo in my face. It was of me and Connor, his, uhh, friend I think, Hank, was also in the picture,” you pursed your lips into a frown. “He spat in my face and called me an ‘Android-lover.’ That’s when he started…” a lump in your throat forced you to stop talking, you shuddered and hung your head low. 

“So these guys attacked you because of your friendship with Connor?” Gavin asked. 

Your head flung back up in a panic, “No! I mean, that’s what they must’ve thought, but he’s not my friend, I don’t even like him!” you huffed. 

Guilt swelled within you and you tried to ignore it. You were not feeling guilty, you were only telling the truth. Connor knew this too, surely. 

Gavin was very good at keeping a neutral expression, but you didn’t miss his tiny smirk. 

“Well, alright. Once you get discharged from here, you need to come straight to the Detroit Police Station,” Gavin rose from his chair and stretched his back. You hadn’t even realized how tense you were and you allowed yourself to relax and slumped back into the bed. 

“We’re gonna catch the guys that did this to you, don’t you worry.” Gavin said, he had a look of complete seriousness on his face. You nodded and threaded your fingers together. 

  
  


The next two days were spent recovering in the hospital. Your body was tender and severely bruised, but you were okay. 

During your stay, you didn’t get much rest. You felt like you were getting a lot of sleep, but you were only having flashbacks. You’d told the nurses about it, but other than giving you sleeping medication, there wasn’t much they could do to assist in aiding the disturbing memories. 

You’d thought about how hard you tried to remember the incident, and how you wished that you’d never remembered. 

When you weren’t having interrupted sleep or flashbacks, you were beating yourself up internally and feeling dreadfully guilty. 

You’d told Connor it was  _ his fault. _

You still didn’t like the man, but something about the way he looked at you when you’d said that to him— he’d looked like a kicked puppy. It evoked something in you and gave you the urge to make it up to him. Even though you still wanted nothing to do with him and his presence was utterly infuriating for you, you felt bad for him. 

It was technically the second time he’d saved your life, you owed him a ‘thank you’ at the very least, you reasoned.

You had a plan. You needed to go back into the station anyway because Gavin wanted to see you when you were discharged. You could apologize to Connor then. There was no need to go out of your way or be overly dramatic about it, you could just get it off your chest and be done with it. 

On the third day, you were discharged. After you went home to get yourself ready, it was time to put your plan into action. You’d spent much longer than you would normally take to get ready for any sort of outing. It wasn’t because you wanted to look good though, it was because you were procrastinating. You brushed through your hair for about thirty minutes, you spent an hour picking out clothes, only to put the initial outfit you chose back on. You paced around the apartment, playing through hypothetical conversations in your head, you stopped in the bathroom and stared at your reflection for a while. 

Your face was a mess, nasty blue bruises peppered your face. There was a ridiculous amount of swelling underneath your eyes, you thought it made you look like a bug. More bruises sprayed your legs, they stuck out and spread from underneath your skirt. You’d considered changing to a pair of pants or something to cover the marks, but you figured there was no point since your face would be the thing drawing the most attention anyway. 

You ended up spending three hours in your apartment, but eventually you knew you were going to have to leave. You didn’t want to let Gavin down by not going down to the station like he asked you to— since when did you have this kind of responsibility? 

You sported the red varsity jacket you were rarely seen without, and you opted not to take the bus so you could walk instead. You were running out of ways to delay the inevitable. You kicked stones up the street as you walked and the closer you got to your destination, the more dramatic the scowl on your face became. 

Finally, you stood in front of the large glass doors of the DPD building for a few seconds. Swallowing thickly, you pushed them open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh. I don't like hospitals. 
> 
> Thank you so much [Blue_Lotus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_lotus) for beta reading this chapter! They're really lovely and you should check out their work if you have the time :)
> 
> Edit: 15th April 2020: More post upload editing! Blue did a really good job editing this for me on the first upload so I didn't change much :)


	10. Overwhelmed

Your hands shook slightly as soon as you were inside the building, you quickly shoved them in your pockets to hide it. You glanced around the waiting room and sighed deeply, you could feel eyes washing over the bruises that stained your body.

‘This is going to be quick, I’ll be in and out before I know it,’ you reassured yourself.

You hurried towards the front desk and an Android you recognized to be an ST300 model smiled at you from behind the counter. “Can I help you?” she asked.

“Ah, yeah, I’m here to see um, Gavin? Gavin Reed, he asked me to come in,” you said with a nervous laugh.

The Android in front of you blinked rapidly, “He’ll see you shortly, you can go ahead and wait inside,” she said.

You gave your best smile and nodded before you walked towards the scanners, after a brief moment they beeped and let you pass through.

Looking around, you fully took in the building, the last time you were here you hadn’t even really bothered to look around at all.

It was incredibly sterile looking, even more so than the hospital. Grey tiles lined the floor, along with grey desks, grey chairs and grey walls. Even though it was a bland-looking building, you noticed that the officer’s desks all had little knick-knacks scattered on them, which helped relieve the feeling of impersonalness.

You found a line of chairs pressed up against a wall, and sat in the seat furthest to the right, waiting patiently. Your hands were sweating like crazy and you could feel the blood rushing to your face.

Your feet swung just above the floor and you glanced around the room. That's when you noticed him.

Across the room, Connor was sitting at his desk across from Hank. He seemed to be incredibly focused on whatever it was he was doing at his terminal.

Guilt erupted in your gut.

You removed your hands from your pockets and clasped them together firmly on your lap, wishing that you’d stopped looking in Connor’s direction because he tilted his head up slightly and made brief eye contact with you. You looked away quickly. You didn’t want to look back and see his reaction, you willed every fiber of your being into not glancing his way. But in the end, your curiosity caused your eyes to glance towards him.

You couldn’t pinpoint any emotion on his face, he was looking back at his terminal with an air of indifference. It was as if he hadn’t seen you at all.

You threw your hands into your face and rubbed your eyes roughly, ‘Of course, I don’t know what I was expecting,’ you thought bitterly.

You knew you had no right to feel bitter though, right? You’d been nothing but nasty to Connor since you’d met him, of course he’d had enough of you.

Why did you even feel bitter in the first place? You hated him, didn’t you?

You crossed your arms as a sour scowl enveloped your features, your thoughts were confusing you and any semblance of a good mood was completely gone.

Feeling a tap on your shoulder, you looked up to see Gavin smiling down at you, “Hey Valorie, I’m glad you could make it,” he said.

You stood up impatiently and twirled a piece of hair on your index finger, “Let’s just get this over with.” you said flatly.

Gavin opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but closed it with a grunt and started walking, a tiny head gesture from him was the only indication he gave that you should follow him. He seemed to be in a bad mood too.

He led you to one of the desks against a window and sat down, motioning his hand to the chair across from him, “Take a seat,” he said.

Arms still crossed, you sat down.

“Alright Valorie, I won’t take up too much of your time,” Gavin said. He reached into a drawer and pulled out a few pieces of paper and placed them in front of you along with a pen.

“This is a witness statement, you don’t have to fill it out if you don’t want to, but it would be extremely helpful in aiding our investigation,” he explained.

You picked up the pen and started filling out your name before your brain registered what he said.

“W-wait, you guys haven’t caught them yet?” you asked frantically, slamming the pen back onto his desk.

Gavin held his breath for a second before he answered. “No we haven’t, but a statement from you would really help us to…” he trailed off when he noticed the absolute horror that painted your face.

You shook your head in a feeble attempt to rid yourself of the overwhelming fear. “It’s okay, I’ll just fill this out,” you muttered before picking the pen back up and scribbling down your answers.

After you’d finished filling out your statement, you didn’t rise from the chair for a little while. Gavin seemed to respect the fact that you were in mild shock and left you alone there to gather your thoughts. When you finally worked up the courage to stand up and turn around, you noticed that Connor was looking in your direction. He still had a look of complete indifference on his face, but you noticed that his LED was flashing a soft yellow.

Any drop of intent left to speak with him drained from you, it was all too much. Nervousness rumbled in your stomach as you started to walk towards the exit, but you didn’t walk through the doors. Instead, you stood with a hand planted firmly on the doorknob, you couldn’t just leave like that. You tapped your foot impatiently and tried to make a move to push the door open, but your hand wouldn’t move.

‘I’m such a coward,’ you thought. You started to push the door open. ‘Coward.’

You groaned and turned back around into the department, the glass door swung softly and closed behind you.

You marched into the bullpen with renewed determination.

Each step closer to Connor’s desk filled you with dread, but you couldn’t turn around and leave, something wouldn’t let you get off that easy.

You were a few meters away from his desk, he looked up and tilted his head at you.

Ahh, that head tilt.

Your mouth folded into a frown.

A few steps closer, Connors confusion transformed into alarm. You held eye contact with him, beads of sweat started to form on your forehead.

Arms were folded across your chest firmly, you were almost within talking distance, and suddenly you realized you had no idea what you were going to say.

Too late.

You were standing in front of Connors desk, you didn’t realize how incredibly closed off your body language was. You froze, you had no idea what to say.

Connor smiled at you cautiously, “Hello Valorie. Is there something you need?” he asked.

You broke the eye contact immediately and your eyes darted around the room. Hank was eyeing you with bewilderment. 

You sighed deeply and closed your eyes. If you didn’t have to look at him, it would probably be easier to speak.

“I wanted to say thank you,” you said reluctantly.

A few seconds with no response caused your head to kick into high gear. ‘This was such a bad idea. Why did I think this was a good idea? God, I’m so stupid—’

“It’s no problem at all, Valorie,” Connor said.

You opened your eyes slowly to see a concerned smile resting on his features.

“And, I’m sorry Connor,” you added hesitantly. Connor tilted his head in confusion so you continued, “I told you it was your fault. It wasn’t your fault, I’m sorry,” you said. You looked down at the ends of your hair and began to fiddle with them nervously.

You glanced up to see an expression of pleasant surprise.

“It’s okay Valorie. You were in shock, I understand,” he said with a grin. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

You looked away as you felt your face heat up. “Yeah. Well, I’m as good as I can be,” you said.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

You scoffed in response. “Like garbage,” you joked.

Connors face transformed into concern, your lighthearted tone seemingly went right over his head. “I’m sorry to hear that, is there anything I can do to help?” he asked.

Your face fell flat, you stayed silent for a few moments. “No, that’s uh, that’s okay,” you said.

You just stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, Connor seemed to be analyzing you. ‘He probably feels awkward too,’ you reasoned. That is, until you remembered he’s an Android.

‘Wait, no, he’s probably actually analyzing me.’

You’d apologized. There was no reason to feel bad anymore, right? Connor seemed to accept your apology and that was that. You could move on now.

But something felt… wrong. You still felt bad, you were sure you despised this Android. So why did you feel bad?

Memories of Connor in your apartment flashed in your mind. He was sitting by your window breathing heavily, relief coated his features. You remembered the way he risked his own life to save yours, the way he hung out of the window and clung onto your arm, how you’d kicked him away when he tried to comfort you, a stranger.

He was looking down at you now, guilt spread out on his face, LED flashing red. You could hear your own voice, it was muffled, but you recognized the words immediately.

“It’s your fault,” you said. You’re awful, how could you do this to someone who was only trying to help you?

‘You don’t deserve his kindness,’ a voice in your head taunted. ‘You’re awful.’

‘Android lover!’

“You alright?” Hank’s voice suddenly drowned out your thoughts. “Hey kid, you alright?”

You turned to see his concerned face. The police department faded in around you. That’s right. You were at the police station.

“I—” you stammered. “I’m okay, I just…” you trailed off, you had no idea what you were trying to say. Your entire body started to heat up uncomfortably, you could feel sweat seeping into your clothes and coating your face.

“Valorie? Would you like to sit down for a moment?” You turned back around to see that Connor was no longer seated. Seeing his face filled you with guilt all over again and you couldn’t stop the shine of water that filled your eyes. You wiped at them with the end of your sleeve and stepped backward quickly when Connor stepped forward.

“I’m sorry, for everything. I have to go,” The words tumbled out of your mouth, and before you could see Hank or Connor’s reaction, you’d turned around and were running towards the exit.

You didn’t stop running until you were out of the building, and even then, you ran down the footpath with heavy steps before collapsing onto a cold, metal chair. You hung your head down and started to weep, the tears irritated your skin and made the bruises on your face ache.

Light rain sprinkled from above and peppered your hair. You held your face in your hands and continued to weep with a runny nose.

‘What the hell is wrong with me?’ you thought.

You glanced back towards the police station, your eyes narrowed in on the front door. You were waiting for it to open, you didn’t really think it was going to, but when it did it startled you enough to make you jump back to your feet.

Of course it was Connor.

You couldn’t make out his facial expression because of the distance, but you weren’t about to stick around to find out.

You spun around and started to sprint down the sidewalk. You’d originally planned to catch the bus home, but the thought of waiting around at a bus stop with the possibility of yet another awkward encounter with Connor was more than enough to send you running down the street.

* * *

Connor tilted his head, he watched your figure grow smaller in the distance as it sprinted away. Were you running from him?

Connor turned back into the station and made his way back over to his desk, confusion was clearly visible on his face.

“I don’t understand,” he said as he seated himself back into his chair.

Hank let out a short laugh, he was leaning back into his chair and had his arms loosely crossed over his chest.

“What don’t you understand?” He knew exactly what Connor didn’t understand, but he wanted to hear him explain it.

“She approached me of her own free will, apologized, and then ran away from me. I don’t understand it at all, if she didn’t wish to speak to me then why did she approach me?” he asked.

“You still got a lot to learn about human emotion, kid,” Hank replied in a fatherly tone.

Connor only looked at him in response. Hank wasn’t wrong, but it didn’t exactly answer his question.

“She apologized because she felt bad, that doesn’t mean she wants to chat with you,” Hank elaborated.

Connor stared into the distance. He wasn’t looking at anything in particular, but his yellow LED gave away the fact that he was trying to process something.

“She told you it was your fault though? You didn’t tell me that,” Hank observed.

Connor whipped his head back towards Hank. “She did,”

Hank hummed, his tone was disapproving.

“But she apologized so that means she didn’t mean it, she was in shock after all,” Connor said.

“Human emotion isn’t black and white Connor, just ‘cause she said sorry that doesn’t mean she didn’t mean it,” Hank said,

Connors mouth turned downwards slightly, “Oh.”

“Maybe it does though. Emotions are confusing, Connor,” Hank added.

“Humans are… irrational,” Connor stated, more so to himself than to Hank.

“Yep. You only just figure it out?”

“No.”

“Anyway, we have work to do,” Hank said as he rolled his chair forward.

Connor didn’t say anything in response, he only got back to work. Filtering out unnecessary thoughts used to be something he prided himself in, but ever since he deviated, he found that that particular skill was becoming less and less reliable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much [Blue_Lotus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_lotus) for beta reading this chapter! Seriously they are a God send ＼(≧▽≦)／
> 
> Please read because this is important to me! I am a little undecided about how I should be going with the reader character in this fic, so I have made a poll about it. If you could jump on and give an answer I would really appreciate it! But if not, I hope you've enjoyed reading my fic anyway :)  
> 16th April 2020: Poll results are in! https://imgur.com/a/2sBLKwp
> 
> 18th April 2020: New poll! The results for the last poll leaned in favor of naming my reader (which is really what I was hoping for if I'm honest) so I'm gonna set up the name voting poll here! For those interested in the reason for naming her, there's only one real reason.  
> I really love writing in the second perspective, but my reader character here is really *not* a blank reader, she is a fully-fledged OC with her own distinct personality, and I think she deserves to have a name. Naming her will NOT have any impact on her appearance, I will still be keeping her physically ambiguous, so please keep imagining her to look any way you like. :)  
> (I'll also mention this, there are browser extensions you can get that allow you to change certain words into other ones, so if you don't like the final name you can always change it and read it that way!)  
> Okay, enough ranting! Here's the poll, I'll also be posting it with the next chapter update before closing it :) 
> 
> https://www.strawpoll.me/19798471


	11. Stress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [Blue_Lotus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_lotus) for beta reading this chapter! <3

Late at night while sitting on the couch in your apartment, you had found yourself looking through your rent documents yet again. They were due the following day. 

You knew you couldn’t ignore it anymore. As much as it’d been on your mind, you had still tried your darndest to ignore the impending responsibility of coughing up money you didn’t have. 

Tomorrow. It was due tomorrow. 

You groaned at the thought and threw your face into your hands. You felt confused. 

For a split second, you wished that you hadn’t given up on your job.

Lowering your hands from your face, you glanced at the window in your apartment. 

You could go again. Just end it, right there and then. There wouldn’t be anyone around to stop you this time. 

Your heart started to beat faster, you swallowed thickly. 

You made an attempt to rise from the chair you were in, but your body wouldn’t move. You felt paralyzed staring at the window. Sweat started to form on your upper lip, and you made a tiny movement to wipe it away. 

**_‘All it would take is one jump. You’ve already done it once, you can do it again, you won’t have to feel this way anymore,’_** A voice taunted you. It was in your head, but it didn’t sound like you. 

You dug your fingernails into the tough fabric of the couch and gritted your teeth. 

Suddenly you remembered how afraid you had felt, standing on the ledge of that window. The pang of regret you’d felt deep in your gut once your feet had left their place on that ledge. 

What were you so afraid of? That was obvious. But to you, it was a legitimate question. You’d thought long and hard about this decision, and ultimately you decided to do it. So what was stopping you now? Had your mind changed?    
  
You shook your head vigorously, no. No, it couldn’t have. 

_ ‘I’m still going to do it but I don’t have to do it right now,’  _ you reasoned with yourself. 

The choice you made in that moment to leave it for at least one more day calmed your quickly beating heart and allowed your body to relax, a loud sigh left your mouth. 

Fishing around in the pocket of your jacket with a hand that was shaking ever so slightly, you were looking for your cigarettes. You found them quickly enough, a quick glance into the packaging told you that you only had 3 left. That was going to be a major problem because you didn’t have any money to buy more. 

You laughed at yourself bitterly for a moment.  _ ‘God. I can’t even pay rent, and this is what I’m worried about?’  _

You plucked a cigarette out of its box and stuck it between your lips, wiped your sweaty hands on the couch and stood up. Your body didn’t freeze like it did before. 

You walked towards the window, the one with the ashtray on the sill, the one you’d tried to jump out of. You pulled the window open and sat down on the chair you’d previously placed in front of it, a fluffy blanket was draped over your shoulders. 

A cold breeze rushed in from the once closed window, the night air was harsh.

The lighter in your hand sparked into a small flame and you were soon blowing smoke out of the window, observing the people below. 

It was late at night, so there wasn’t as much going on as there would normally be during the day, but a few people were out walking around below. 

You sat this way for a few minutes, arms crossed on the windowsill and head resting on them, inhaling the smoke from the cigarette and shaking slightly because of the cold breeze. 

Watching the people below proved to be a little more distracting than you’d initially thought it’d be, even though you couldn’t make out any of the conversation below. You wondered what brought them outside at this time of night. Perhaps they were dealing drugs?    
  
You laughed. You knew the world wasn’t black and white like that. Not everyone out late in the night was out for notorious purposes. 

You were about to snuff out the spent cigarette and close the window, but something caught your eye. 

Below, standing near a large tree, was a man with a silhouette you recognized. 

Your blood ran cold as you stared down at him, he had a shaved head and wore baggy sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. If he’d had the hood flipped up to cover his head, you may not have recognized him. 

The cigarette between your fingers fell from your grasp and landed pitifully into the ashtray. Rising slowly from the chair, your eyes refused to move from the man. You backed away from the window, the blanket falling to the floor. 

_ ‘He knows where I live,’  _ you thought. The realization made your heart beat incredibly fast, you felt it thudding through your skin. Your mind drew a blank. 

_ ‘What the hell am I supposed to do?!’  _

The cold breeze flowing through the open window had previously only felt uncomfortable, but now it felt like an ill omen, trying to warn you of something terrible that was about to happen. 

Eyes flickering around the apartment, they settled on the cheap plastic bin in the corner of the kitchen. The lid was still on the floor beside it since you never bothered to put it back on after your recent fiasco. 

_ ‘Connor’s number is in there, I should…’ _ You took a step towards the bin and stopped. 

Connor? You were going to call him? 

You shook your head and instead walked past the bin, heading straight for your bedroom. You turned a corner into the room and stood in the doorway, hand resting on the doorframe. 

Your eyes scanned the area and found your phone sitting on your bed, partially covered by messy blankets. You tried to turn it on, but it appeared to be completely dead. 

You huffed. “Stupid thing!” 

Typically your charger would’ve been plugged in next to your bed, but it had been many weeks since you bothered to charge it, you weren’t even sure where it was. 

You pulled open each drawer in your bedside table, rubbing at your eyes with irritation when it wasn’t in any of them. 

Panic started to rise up and bubble in the back of your throat. 

_ ‘Where is it?!’  _

You started to open more drawers in your room, messily searching through each one and tossing the items inside of them onto the floor, each new drawer you opened seemed to upset you more and more. 

_ ‘Where the hell is it!?!’ _

You stood in the middle of your room and spun around slowly, letting your eyes scan over every surface, trying to find another place to look. There was one more place you hadn’t searched yet, the wardrobe. 

You thought it was a pointless endeavor, because there was no way you’d gone and stored your phone charger in your  _ wardrobe _ . Where your clothes were supposed to be. You looked anyway. 

Your shoes were lined up neatly on the bottom shelf, but they were soon on the floor. You were frenzied, throwing out every item inside onto the floor. All of your clothes were thrown haphazardly around the room. 

The top shelf is what housed your towels, it was the last place to look. 

At that point, tears were leaking out of your eyes and dripping from your chin onto the floor, your nose was starting to run too. 

You threw all of the towels onto the floor aggressively, and—

The charger fell out with them. 

A frustrated yet relieved snicker echoed past your lips. 

You felt like such an idiot at that moment. 

Picking up the charger and sighing, you plodded towards your bed and plopped down on the floor where the electrical outlet was, it took a few extra seconds to plug your phone in with your quivering hands, but once it was done you allowed yourself to cry freely. 

Having found your charger, the real reason you were so frantic allowed its presence to be known in the front of your mind again. 

_ ‘He knows where I live.’  _

_ ‘He’s come for me.’  _

The phone screen flashed a vibrant green lighting up the whole room, signaling it’s restoration. 

Your eyes quickly darted towards the phone, your hands soon followed and you snatched it up from its place on the bed. 

You swiftly typed in the number for 911, but your finger hovered above the call button before you turned your phone off. You briefly saw your own reflection in the screen and groaned. 

_ ‘I should call Connor, he’ll be quicker, and he already knows the situation so I wouldn’t have to explain anything.’  _

Your grip tightened around the phone in your hand. 

“Do I really need to call the police? It’s not like he can get in…” you murmured to yourself. 

You bit down hard on your lip, causing it to bleed slightly. The taste of iron overwhelmed your taste buds. 

“Of course I should call. Stupid,” you sighed. 

Standing up, you wiped your face with the end of your sleeve, the bruises, even though they were fading, still felt irritated when touched. 

You were subconsciously walking very lightly when you made your way back into the kitchen, it was as if you thought the man outside would come running for you if he heard your footsteps. 

You looked down at the bin, the card Connor had given you was still sitting on top of all the other garbage. You exhaled roughly through your nose. 

The light in the kitchen flickered ever so slightly, normally it was something you wouldn’t notice, but you felt hyper-alert to every minute detail around you. 

A slight buzz was heard every time the light flickered. 

You inched towards the window, the breeze that was coming in had successfully chilled the entire room. 

You moved slowly, terrified of what you may see. 

The closer you got to the window, the shallower your breaths became. Your heart was again beating hard enough to shake the sweater you were wearing. 

Buzzing from the kitchen light and minuscule flickering set an ambiance that terrified you even more. 

It took twenty seconds for you to arrive at the window, a distance that normally would’ve taken you three. 

You peered through the window. He was still there. 

You sighed, unsure if it was a relief you still knew where he was, or dread, knowing he was still there. 

In one swift movement, you slammed the window closed before backing away a lot faster than you intended. You ran towards your front door and tested it to make sure it was locked. 

It was. 

Treading lightly back into the kitchen, you sat down next to the dirty old plastic bin, landing on the tiles with a soft pat. 

_ ‘I really need to replace it,’  _ you thought. 

You glanced into said bin, Connor’s card was still sitting on top of everything else, just as it was before. Reaching in, you plucked the card out and brushed the dust off of it. 

Luckily, no unsavory liquids or bin remnants had made their way onto it. 

_ ‘Luckily?’  _ you echoed in your head. You threw the card onto the tiles in front of you and sighed again. 

You chewed the fingernail on your thumb and mulled over the thoughts in your head, feeling completely unable to decide a course of action. 

If you called 911 and he left before they turned up, you’d have just wasted their time. 

If you called Connor you would have to actually see him, probably. 

_ ‘What if I do neither.’  _

**_‘Would it really be so bad to die that way anyway?’_ **

The thought shocked you and made you shake your head. 

_ ‘Of course it would! It’d be long and drawn out and painful! Probably…’  _

**_‘Such a coward. You want to die yet you want to prevent another person killing you.’_ **

You swallowed thickly. 

_ ‘It’s my choice…’  _

The thought of Connor kneeling over your broken body flashed across your mind. You tried to shake the thought away but it wouldn’t leave. 

‘He cares about you, you know.’ 

**“No.”**

You glanced down towards the card with his number written on it, perfect symmetrical handwriting. 

“He’s only doing his job.” you squinted. “Why the hell am I talking to myself, anyway?” You wiped at your eyes, only just realizing that they had begun to water yet again. 

Crawling over the window on all fours, you peered just above the sill to see if he was still where he was before, and he was… he was gone. 

Panic flooded through your veins, you’d spent so long deciding who to call that he’d gone and left. That or he was making his next move, you couldn’t decide which one was worse. 

Filled with adrenaline, you ran towards the card on the floor and grabbed it carelessly on your way to your bedroom, back to where your phone was. 

The socks you wore padded on the floor lightly. Normally you wouldn’t be actively listening to your own footsteps, but for some reason, you were hyper-focused on the sound.

Heartbeat thick in your ears, your face felt hot and cold at the same time. 

Suddenly you weren’t worried about the decision of who to call, you just needed to call someone. 

The anxiety induced shakes were back and it made picking up your phone more difficult than it needed to be. 

With the phone in one hand and Connor’s card gripped tightly in the other trembling hand, you punched his number into the keypad and pressed the call button immediately. 

The first ring went through…

Second… 

Third—

“Hello? Connor speaking,” his voice echoed through the phone. 

You froze, finding yourself unable to make a sound. 

“Hello?” Connor asked. He was a lot more patient than you would be if you answered a silent phone call. 

After a few seconds, your voice finally allowed itself to be heard. 

“H-hello?” Your voice came out low and shaky. 

“Valorie?” He recognized your voice straight away. 

You were surprised he was even still on the line after you were silent for so long. 

“Valorie? Is something wrong?” His tone sounded rather alarmed, even through the phone speaker, it was easy to pick up on. 

You took a deep breath. “Connor, that guy… that guy from the alleyway, I saw him out the front of my apartment complex, I—” A lump in your throat forced you to stop talking.

There was a beat of silence. 

“I’m going to come and check it out. Is he still there?” Connor asked. 

You knew he would probably agree to come, but even knowing that, you were still surprised that he was as concerned for your safety as he was. 

“No… I can’t see him anymore,” you said. You were unconsciously picking at the skin on your lips with your free hand as you spoke. 

The sound of a door opening and closing was heard through the phone speaker. 

“I’ll be there shortly, make sure your front door is locked and lock yourself in your room. Don’t move until I arrive, alright?” he said, it sounded more like a command than a suggestion. 

His stern tone almost sounded… robotic. 

You cringed slightly. “O-okay…” 

“I’ll be there shortly,” he repeated before hanging up. 

The phone beeped for a second or two, and then the line was gone. 

You lowered the phone from your face and stared at the screen for a few seconds, the duration of your call with Connor was displayed on the screen. 

After a few delayed moments, you ran to the door of your bedroom and did what Connor had told you to do. You locked the door. 

“I can’t believe I did that…” you murmured, backing away from the door and towards the large window in your room. 

You sat down on the floor in front of it and peered out, still unable to see the man from before. 

Clutching your chest where your heart was, you tried to steady your breathing. A bead of sweat fell from your forehead and dripped down the side of your face. 

You glanced out the window one final time before you scooted over to the side of the room and sat in the corner, hugging your knees. 

_ ‘I’m… such a coward,’  _ you thought. 

Some minutes passed.

You wiped at your eyes and hugged your knees tighter than before. 

The silence in the room was overwhelming, it was closing in on you. 

White-noise burrowed into your brain, the only other sound accompanying it was your heartbeat, thundering in your ears. 

You found yourself unable to sit still. Every time you did made you feel uncomfortable and unsafe. 

Planting your hands firmly onto your ears and squeezing your eyes closed, you tried to imagine that you were somewhere else. 

Anywhere else. 

**_‘It’s your punishment,’_ ** a depreciating voice of reason remarked in your mind.  **_‘Cowards like you don’t deserve to be helped._ **

Shaking your head, you tried to sway the thoughts from your brain. 

Minutes passed, but it felt like hours. The anticipation was painful. 

Fear and worry slowly started to transform into irritation. You paced around the room, glancing out the window and checking your phone regularly. 

**_‘_ ** _ He’s not going to come, is he?’  _ you thought. 

You stared at your phone, the black unlit screen reflecting your bruised and broken face back at you. 

You debated calling him, asking him where he was. But that would be going too far, you told yourself.

A few more minutes passed and you realized he wasn’t coming. 

“I should’ve known,” you mumbled. 

Completely devoid of the desire to find out what was taking him so long, you climbed into bed and threw the blankets over your head. 

Heat radiated from your face, tears spilled out and stained the blankets encasing you. 

Sobbing silently, you unsuccessfully tried to convince yourself he was still on his way.

‘Of course, he’s not coming,’ you thought. ‘I was so mean to him… is this karma?’ 

Gripping tightly onto the duvet that surrounded you, you wiped your face with it and tried to dry your clammy hands. 

‘It’s a taste of my own medicine,’ 

Practically hugging the blankets now, you wept and couldn’t contain the faint sounds of despair coming from your mouth and echoing around the room. 

You started to feel angry. Although the feeling of betrayal and hopelessness was strong, you couldn’t help but feel angry at yourself. 

“This is why you never rely on anyone, stupid, stupid!” you cried. “I’m so—” 

Whatever you were about to say next was abruptly cut off by a ringing phone. 

The fast-paced guitar solo of ‘Through the Fire and the Flames’ ripped you from your panic-induced ramblings and threw you back into reality.

It took a couple of seconds to fully register the fact that the phone was ringing, but when you realized it, you ripped the blankets from your body before jumping onto the floor to pick up the phone where it vibrated faintly. 

Without even bothering to glance at the number calling, you answered it and held it to your ear, holding your breath for just a moment before saying “Hello?” 

“It’s me, Connor. I’m at your door,” Connor’s voice sounded through the speaker. 

Without saying anything back to him, you hung up immediately and ran towards your bedroom door, unlocking it. 

Running down the hall and towards your front door, your feet slapped against the floor and you almost slipped when you had to make a sharp turn to get to your destination. 

You had to fiddle with the lock for a moment before it opened, but as soon as it did you swung your front door open and were greeted with Connor. 

You didn’t even give him a chance to speak before ushering him inside and relocking the door. 

“I did a full scope of the area and it appears that he’s—” Connor started to explain what he’d discovered but you cut him off yet again. A habit of yours that Connor was beginning to expect whenever the two of you interacted. 

“I thought you weren’t gonna show!” you blurted out. 

Connor tilted his head slightly, “What?” he asked. 

“I didn’t think…” you trailed off and looked down at the floor, hands tightly clinging onto your skirt. 

You looked back up towards Connor and made eye contact. 

He smiled sympathetically, something akin to a newfound realization flashing across his features. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to everyone for reading this fic!
> 
> The results for the last poll leaned in favor of naming my reader (which is really what I was hoping for if I'm honest) so I'm gonna set up the name voting poll here! For those interested in the reason for naming her, there's only one real reason.  
> I really love writing in the second perspective, but my reader character here is really *not* a blank reader, she is a fully-fledged OC with her own distinct personality, and I think she deserves to have a name. Naming her will NOT have any impact on her appearance, I will still be keeping her physically ambiguous, so please keep imagining her to look any way you like. :)  
> (I'll also mention this, there are browser extensions you can get that allow you to change certain words into other ones, so if you don't like the final name you can always change it and read it that way!)  
> The results for this chapter's poll are in! The final name is Valorie :) Thank you so much to everyone who voted!   
> https://imgur.com/a/k1LDmvb


	12. Volatility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [Blue_Lotus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_lotus) for beta reading this chapter!
> 
> The results for last chapter's poll are in! The final name is Valorie :) Thank you so much to everyone who voted!  
> https://imgur.com/a/k1LDmvb

“Why did you think I wasn’t going to show up?” Connor asked, squinting slightly, although not unkindly. 

Looking back towards the ground, you wanted to say it was because you knew you didn’t deserve him going out of his way to help you. That because you’d been so awful to him, you thought he was playing a trick on you. 

But you didn’t say any of those. 

_ “Oh to be so truthful would be liberating _ ,” you thought bitterly. 

“I don’t know,” you lied. 

Connor must’ve caught the hesitation on your face because his LED spun yellow for a moment, clearly giving away the fact that he knew something was up. 

Enough experience in dealing with Hank’s emotions had taught him not to pry so much, you were clearly uncomfortable and upset. He didn’t want to contribute to distressing you further. 

“In any case, I performed a full scope of the area and couldn’t find him, so he must have left. Can you show me where you saw him?” he asked. 

You walked towards the window, turning around when you arrived and then pointing towards the tree. 

“He was leaning against that tree, for at least 20 minutes he was there,” you said, trailing off towards the end of your sentence. 

Connor squinted, and glanced towards said tree. 

“He was there for 20 minutes before you called?” Connor asked in alarm, his head whipping around to face you. 

“I- Uhm! Well,” you stammered. “I couldn’t find my phone charger so...” 

“So you called as soon as you could?” His eye contact was unwavering.

You knew lying to him would be fruitless. He was built as a detective after all. 

You rubbed your arms in an attempt to soothe yourself. 

“I guess, I could’ve called sooner...” you mumbled softly, looking away. 

“So why didn’t you?” Connor questioned, insistent as ever. 

You scoffed. “Is this really the most important thing right now?” 

“It is.” His tone was firm. 

“Really? I would’ve thought it would be trying to find him, ya know. Cause he was just here, so he’d be in the area, right?” You crossed your arms over your chest. You were starting to become quite defensive. 

“If you’d called right away, then you would be correct. But it’s now been, to my estimation, at least 40 minutes since he was first seen,” His tone made you flinch. 

It didn’t go unnoticed by Connor.

“I just didn’t think it was important enough until I noticed he was missing,” you said. A half-truth. 

You tried to ignore the feeling of guilt rising up in the back of your throat. 

Connor smiled sympathetically, an attempt to try and lighten the mood a little, but he didn’t factor in your emotional instability. 

Disgust flashed across your features briefly, the guilt in the back of your throat all but disappeared. You took a step back. 

“Don’t look at me like that!” you snarled, looking away. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” he admitted with a head tilt. 

“Just,  _ don’t. _ ” 

“Why?” He knew not to pry, but some curiosities were too strong to ignore. 

You hesitated for a few seconds, a sour scowl painting your features. 

Connor stayed silent though, a patient, expectant look on his face. 

“That look. I’m not some, some-” you waved your hand around in the air for a moment while you tried to think of the right words. “I’m not some charity case! You look at me like that, it’s patronizing!” you huffed, unable to stop more tears welling up inside your eyes. 

“Don’t look at me like I’m some little piece of shit on the ground, unable to help myself. If I wanted your sympathies, I would’ve asked!” 

Connor blinked, obviously unprepared for what you’d just said. 

His LED fluttered yellow as he thought about what the best sort of response would be. 

He elected to go for honesty. 

“I’m sorry, Valorie. My intention was never to patronize you. I was only trying to offer my support. I don’t see you in any of the ways you described at all,” he said. 

“What’s the reason then, huh?” Anger had totally overcome you, all the feelings you’d kept to yourself for a long time were rising to the surface and spilling from your mouth like an unstoppable tsunami. 

“If you don’t see me as something you can ‘fix’, then what is it?! Am I a project to you? Some broken thing you saw and thought you could just fix with some kind words, and- and a smile?!” You were shouting. 

“I don’t see you that way at all, Valorie.” 

“Then what?! What are you trying to do?!” You were demanding a real, tangible reason for his kindness. 

He thought for a moment. “You are correct about one thing. I do want to see you happy. But I don’t think of you as something to ‘fix’. I came here tonight because you called me and I was worried for your safety, but that doesn’t imply that I see you as ‘less than’ or ‘inferior’ to myself.”

An indescribable feeling was welling up inside your stomach. Slapping your hands over your eyes, you suddenly felt embarrassed and ashamed about having someone see you cry. 

**_‘He’s lying.’_ **

“You’re lying…” you sobbed. 

“I’m telling you the truth.” 

“Then… Then, why me?” Your knees felt weak, suddenly overcome with emotion. you felt they would collapse at any second. 

“Why anyone?” he countered. 

“You don’t even know me… I’m not a good person…” You were pushing your hands into your eyes with enough force to see white specs of light flashing around and dancing underneath your eyelids. 

“You never know anyone until you get to know them.”

**_‘He’s lying.’_ **

“I’m a bad person.” 

“That’s something I can decide for myself,” he retorted. 

You could feel your knees beginning to buckle. 

“You’ll regret getting to know me. They always do,” 

“What if I don’t? What if I become someone you consider to be a friend?” he asked. He knew he may have been overstepping some boundaries, but it was a risk he was willing to take to try and get you to see reason. 

**_‘He’s lying.’_ **

A soft wail escaped your lips and you fell to the floor. Crying aggressively into your hands, the tears leaked through the gaps in your fingers and landed on your lap pitifully. 

“I… I just can’t believe it. You’re lying.” 

Connor looked down at you, an overwhelming feeling of uselessness filled his processors. Even though you’d only just told him that you didn’t want him to look at you with sympathy, it was the only thing distinguishable on his face. 

“I’m not lying.” He tried to keep his tone calm. He didn’t want to come across as cold or mechanical, but he thought that perhaps a reassuring voice of reason would be best. 

Seeing you pour out your emotions, sitting on the floor, made him feel… sad. 

He knelt down in front of you. 

Face in your hands, you were so caught up in the bizarre flurry of emotions whirring around in your head that you didn’t notice. 

Connor hesitated for a few seconds. You reminded him of Hank. Just the comparison to his closest friend and father figure alone was more than enough to give him the unmistakable urge to comfort you. 

He stayed still for a few more seconds, trying to make sure that what he was about to do was worth the risk of potentially causing you more distress. 

Then, without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around you and cloaked you with a warm embrace. 

You made a slight noise of surprise, similar to a gasp, but not quite describable as one. 

Arms falling to your sides, you stared over his shoulder with wide eyes. 

You almost pushed him away. You wanted him to stop. He was making a mistake, you thought. 

He would regret it, he was only trying to manipulate you into trusting him, he didn’t know what he was doing. Negative reasons for his sudden embrace flashed in your head. 

_ ‘Maybe he really is just being kind?’  _ you thought for a brief moment. 

Squeezing your eyes shut, more tears leaked out. They ran over the bruises on your cheeks and dripped down towards your chin. 

_ Maybe he really is just kind? _ You clung to the words in your head like a lifeline, and you hugged him back. Arms wrapping around his back, you could feel a slight warmth radiating from him, similar to that of a human.

You found that your hands were clutching the back of his jacket, and burying your face into his shoulder, you wailed. 

It’d been a really long time since you’d felt comfortable accepting a hug from someone, let alone a warm embrace.

Connor felt a rush of relief. He rubbed comforting circles into your back, “It’s alright,” he soothed.

Your entire body shook every time you took a breath, you suddenly realized how exhausting it truly was to cry as much as you did. 

“I thought you weren’t gonna turn up,” you admitted between sobs. 

“I said I would, didn’t I?” he replied, still patting your back reassuringly. 

“But… but…” Burying your face further into his shoulder, you hugged him a little tighter. 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” you cried, hugging him a little tighter again. 

“I just want to. I decided that I want to, and that’s all,” he said.

“I just don’t understand...” you mumbled, words slightly muffled through the fabric of his jacket. 

“It’s alright,” he soothed. “You don’t have to understand,” 

The two of you sat like that for a few seconds. The sounds of your weeping echoed around the room and bounced off the walls. He didn’t stop rubbing your back, the subtle gesture was enough to help keep you seated in reality. 

It felt like a surreal fever dream. But eventually, it was time to wake up. 

Opening your eyes, you lifted your head from his shoulder and let your arms fall back down to your sides, almost lifelessly. 

Connor noticed immediately when you were done, so he also let go of you. 

Sniffling, you scooted backward slightly and reclaimed some of your personal space. Connor stood up and also stepped away, acutely aware of all the subtle body language you were showing. 

Wiping your eyes one final time, you stood up and found yourself unable to make eye contact, suddenly embarrassed. 

“Are you alright?” Connor asked, head tilted. 

Looking down at the floor, you nodded. 

A few beats of silence passed. 

“Um, is there anything you need from me? You know, about the guy…” An extremely uncomfortable feeling prickled down your spine, it left you at a loss for words. 

Connor’s head tilt vanished, and his posture straightened. It was as if he was switching back into work mode. 

“Can you describe what he was wearing?” he asked. 

“Same as the last time you saw him, remember, in the, um-” The word ‘alleyway’ was on the tip of your tongue, but you found yourself unable to speak it. 

“I see.” He understood without having to hear the word. “And he was alone?” 

“I didn’t see anyone else.” 

Connor glanced around the room, his eyes landed on the rent papers sitting on the coffee table. His LED spun amber briefly. 

“Your rent is due tomorrow,” he stated. 

Thrown out of whatever awkward state you were in, your head shot up towards the papers that were left out on the table. 

Squeezing your hands together into tight fists, you stormed towards the coffee table and started to hastily collect all of the papers from it, messily throwing them into the drawer attached to the table. 

“That’s kind of a violation of privacy, Connor,” you said, statically. 

You knew it wasn’t really a violation, he’d only noticed because you were stupid enough to leave them out. But your mind was a blur, you felt like you'd embarrassed yourself beyond repair, and you were desperately trying to find anything you could use to push him back away.

Connor didn’t say anything in response, he only observed you as you carelessly tossed the important documents into the bottom of a messy drawer. 

It was concerning to him, but he concluded that asking you about it a second time wouldn’t do any good. He instead walked into the kitchen and began to look around. 

“H-hey!” shouting at him from the other side of the room, you started to walk towards him but stopped when you realized you had no idea what you would say if you met him in the kitchen. 

“Have you eaten today?” he asked. To you it seemed totally out of left field, but Connor was intentionally taking advantage of your emotional breakthrough to try and help you. 

Catching you off guard in this moment was the best chance he had at having you accept his help. 

Swallowing thickly, you hesitated. “Yes.” 

“The cup ramen you normally eat doesn’t provide enough calories or nutrients recommended for a woman of your height,” he stated calmly. 

Your brows knit themselves together. “What’s your point?” 

Connor’s eye contact was once again unwavering. You couldn’t help but look away. 

“You should be eating more than that,” he pointed out. 

Rolling your eyes, you crossed your arms across your chest. “I don’t have the money, you’re smart Connor. I thought you’d be aware of that,” 

“I can buy you some groceries, I wouldn’t mind at all,” he offered with a slight smile. 

You felt all the walls that’d been lowered for a few minutes shoot back up, like giant spiked castle barriers. They surrounded you fully and closed you in. 

“That’s okay,” you said, finality laced within the words. 

“There’s a 7-Eleven just down the road.” his expression was hopeful as he glanced towards the door. 

Squinting, you exhaled sharply through your nose and flicked your gaze up slightly to look at him. 

“Is there any reason in particular as to why you’d feel uncomfortable with me buying you food? You need it to live, and I don’t mind, I’m failing to see the problem,” he asked. Again, you had reminded him of Hank. The refusal of his help frustrated him. 

Your lips parted slightly as you tried to think of the right words, “I just—” 

Once again, you exhaled sharply through your nose. 

“—I don’t like being in debt to anyone.” 

“Consider it me paying you back for not being able to prevent what happened the other night,” Connor said, his tone completely serious. 

Words caught in your throat, suddenly you felt a pang of guilt. “No, that… that wasn’t your fault though,” you said, voice barely audible. 

“I’m sure a walk will do you some good,” he spoke while gesturing to the front door with his head. 

You stayed silent for a beat too long. 

“... Give me a minute,” you whispered with a hushed breath. 

Walking past Connor without making eye contact, you made your way to the bedroom in a way that was almost mechanical in nature. Once inside, you changed into some warmer clothes and slipped on a pair of shoes without doing up the laces.; Instead you shoved the cords into them to prevent them from tripping you over. 

You wrapped a grey plaid scarf around your neck and stood in the middle of the room for a few minutes, feeling completely overwhelmed and numb at the same time. 

Exiting the room and reappearing in the hallway, you saw that Connor hadn’t moved from where you left him standing in the kitchen. 

You thought that perhaps there was still time for you to tell him you weren’t interested in his offer, but he didn’t give you the chance. 

“Ready?” he asked without missing a beat. 

“I guess,” you answered, internally scolding yourself for not trying to argue it again.

Before you could see his reaction or hear his response, you were already opening the front door and on your way down the hall. However, Connor wasn’t far behind and caught up to walk next to you fairly quickly.

“It’s approximately a ten-minute walk, we can drive if you prefer,” he said. 

You thought the offer over briefly but quickly realized that the thought of being in the same car with nothing else to distract you made you nervous. Awkward, silent car rides were not something you’d subject yourself too if you could help it.

“Oh, uh, that’s okay, I don’t mind walking,” you replied, throwing him a quick side glance.

You soon discovered that Connor was seemingly impervious to the stiff atmosphere that seemed to follow you everywhere, because he pushed through your curt responses and continued to make conversation as if you weren’t being socially awkward. 


End file.
